Post by Nasrin Golbahar on Jul 19, 2020 11:16:04 GMT -5
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It wasn’t too difficult to tell that Heidi /really/ wanted one specific answer out of this, but it was much harder to tell if Nasrin had given the right one. That first question was pretty easy to answer so far as Nasrin was concerned, and she answered it honestly, but Heidi may have wanted something a bit less… Praising, in her current state. A few moments of silence stretched between them, ending with a very concerning frown from Heidi that gave Nasrin the impression she may have answered the wrong way, and without any indication as to what was wrong about her answer she just had to drift along into the next series of questions from Heidi and hope that she didn’t fuck it up again. Easier said than done, with the Barioles. [Break] [Break]
The questions that followed were unexpected, to say the least, and Nasrin was absolutely positive that she wouldn’t be able to both truthfully answer them and keep Heidi happy. It was surprising that Heidi would even care about this. Why did it matter if Nasrin saw one twin while the other was in control. They literally shared the same body, the same everything apart from their minds. [Break]
And of course she had compared the two of them, it was impossible not to do when she was in an active relationship - relationships that she enjoyed quite a bit - with both of them. They were so incredibly different but still part of the same person, they literally switched between each other seemingly at random it would be impossible not to think of one when she saw the other. Nasrin could, at least, honestly say that she did believe the two of them were different people. Or at least, that they were currently different people. [Break]
It was clear to Nasrin how important these questions were to Heidi, and how often she must have asked them privately of the people around her. A silent concern that she never really showed to anyone as far as Nasrin knew, until now. And there was every chance that the punkette would say the wrong answer and ruin all the progress they had made that evening. She’d been put into a very uncomfortable position, and as Heidi leaned closer, Nasrin found herself feeling just a tiny bit anxious. She held eye contact, of course, and her face showed the same caring and genuinely loving expression it had the entire time, tinged only slightly with concern about the questions. [Break] [Break]
The final question came and smashed any lingering thoughts Nasrin had. She had been about to dwell on the indication that she was currently more important to Heidi than her own parents were, a feeling Nasrin couldn’t understand as an orphan but something she had always assumed couldn’t be the case. Why would anyone love anything more than the people that raised them? It didn’t make sense. But again, Nasrin had little time to dwell on that as she was asked if it would have been better if she didn’t know Jackie existed. [Break]
It would have been an easy question to answer, once. A question that Nasrin would have responded to without thinking in the affirmative, of course it would be easier if she didn’t have to deal with Jackie in those first few months, when Jackie still was extremely insecure around Nasrin all the time. Nasrin had disliked it quite a bit, she had been willing to work with Jackie and give her a shot at the friend thing simply because of midterms but it was a rocky beginning and if it had only been Heidi at the time… But that had changed. Nasrin liked both of them now. She happened to believe that the two of them would be their best selves, the perfect person, if they could somehow be combined into one. But that was something she would not tell either of them in person. She knew without any doubt that both of them would find that idea repulsive, or awful, or otherwise an indication that Nasrin didn’t actually care about either of them, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. [Break] [Break]
Nasrin tucked her stump into her chest, and had her hand not been under Heidi’s she would have reached to grab that stump as she thought over the questions and figured out how to respond. It would be easy to see that bit of concern and anxiety in Nasrin, and the twitch in her hand as she instinctually went to bring it up to hold the stump of her other arm. [Break]
She took a breath, looking away from Heidi for only a moment before regaining eye contact as she started to respond. ”I’m gonna do my fucking best to be honest here, yeah? But I’m not sure if I can answer any of that the way you want me to. I dunno how you want me to answer them, really, but I got a pretty good idea. You don’t wanna be seen as Jackie, or just...” She paused, searching for the word and rotating her hand to squeeze Heidi’s in return. ”Or just something attached to her because of your semblance. When I look at you I see Heidi, like I said, but I’d be lying if I didn’t see Jackie sometimes too. You share the same body, similar voices, like you said, and cause I know that it’s real easy to think of both of you whenever I look at one of you, if that makes sense..” [Break] [Break]
She trailed off, and Heidi could feel another twitch in her hand as she resisted the instinct to pull it free and rub the shaved side of her head. Another anxious tick. ”S’not that I see you AS Jackie, though, s’just that when I look at either of you I can kinda feel the other one in there too, see them too, yeah? I dunno if that makes sense. I’ve compared the two of you, I do all the fucking time. But I compare people who aren’t attached together like the two of you are. I compare the both of you to all my other fucking friends - what few of them there are - and I compare you to eachother, just how I am I think.” [Break]
It was very, very clear that Nasrin wasn’t very sure of any of these answers. Not because they weren’t the truth, but because she didn’t want to say anything stupid and piss someone off. She still firmly held eye contact, holding Heidi’s hand in the most comforting and loving way she could manage with one hand, slowly rubbing her thumb along the back of Heidi’s hand as she held it. [Break] [Break]
”You’re two different people, solidly so. You aren’t just a semblance and a side effect. I honestly believe that, yeah. When one of you is in control, that’s the one I see and focus on. I can’t help but think of the other one, sometimes, but it’s not like I’m going around thinkin’ you’re Jackie right now, cause you aint… And I don’t know how to answer that last bit.” She sighed as she searched Heidi’s face for how she felt about the answers thus far, for any clue that Nasrin had already fucked up and ruined what they had. [Break]
”We talked about it earlier. I’m friends with Jackie now too, I happen to like the fucking both of you! For very different reasons, and in different ways, but I like both of you… I don’t know what it woulda been like if I never met Jackie. It woulda hurt my brain a lot less, figuring out what the fuck your semblance does. It woulda made answering these questions an awful lot easier. But I can’t go back in time, and I can’t say what the fuck it woulda been like in that version of the world. So I can’t tell you if it woulda been easier or harder or if I woulda preferred that. And I’m not gonna try and guess, or just tell you what I think you wanna hear. Mostly because I don’t know what the fuck you want me to say here, but also cause I can’t damn well do so and stay honest. And I promised to be honest with you back during midterms, I aint broken that promise a single time yet and I don’t plan on starting now, yeah?” [Break] [Break]
Nasrin finished talking then, having said in her mind all she could say and hoping beyond all hope that none of it was something that would make Heidi upset. She liked both of them. She liked both of them a fuckton. And she did not want this to all fall down around her after she’d just gotten through to Heidi.
Aura: 100% [break][break]
Semblance D, Rascal Light F, Agility E, Durability C, Melee Accuracy E, Speed F, Graffiti F, Mechanics F[break][break]
Word Count: 1457/9155 [break][break]
It wasn’t too difficult to tell that Heidi /really/ wanted one specific answer out of this, but it was much harder to tell if Nasrin had given the right one. That first question was pretty easy to answer so far as Nasrin was concerned, and she answered it honestly, but Heidi may have wanted something a bit less… Praising, in her current state. A few moments of silence stretched between them, ending with a very concerning frown from Heidi that gave Nasrin the impression she may have answered the wrong way, and without any indication as to what was wrong about her answer she just had to drift along into the next series of questions from Heidi and hope that she didn’t fuck it up again. Easier said than done, with the Barioles. [Break] [Break]
The questions that followed were unexpected, to say the least, and Nasrin was absolutely positive that she wouldn’t be able to both truthfully answer them and keep Heidi happy. It was surprising that Heidi would even care about this. Why did it matter if Nasrin saw one twin while the other was in control. They literally shared the same body, the same everything apart from their minds. [Break]
And of course she had compared the two of them, it was impossible not to do when she was in an active relationship - relationships that she enjoyed quite a bit - with both of them. They were so incredibly different but still part of the same person, they literally switched between each other seemingly at random it would be impossible not to think of one when she saw the other. Nasrin could, at least, honestly say that she did believe the two of them were different people. Or at least, that they were currently different people. [Break]
It was clear to Nasrin how important these questions were to Heidi, and how often she must have asked them privately of the people around her. A silent concern that she never really showed to anyone as far as Nasrin knew, until now. And there was every chance that the punkette would say the wrong answer and ruin all the progress they had made that evening. She’d been put into a very uncomfortable position, and as Heidi leaned closer, Nasrin found herself feeling just a tiny bit anxious. She held eye contact, of course, and her face showed the same caring and genuinely loving expression it had the entire time, tinged only slightly with concern about the questions. [Break] [Break]
The final question came and smashed any lingering thoughts Nasrin had. She had been about to dwell on the indication that she was currently more important to Heidi than her own parents were, a feeling Nasrin couldn’t understand as an orphan but something she had always assumed couldn’t be the case. Why would anyone love anything more than the people that raised them? It didn’t make sense. But again, Nasrin had little time to dwell on that as she was asked if it would have been better if she didn’t know Jackie existed. [Break]
It would have been an easy question to answer, once. A question that Nasrin would have responded to without thinking in the affirmative, of course it would be easier if she didn’t have to deal with Jackie in those first few months, when Jackie still was extremely insecure around Nasrin all the time. Nasrin had disliked it quite a bit, she had been willing to work with Jackie and give her a shot at the friend thing simply because of midterms but it was a rocky beginning and if it had only been Heidi at the time… But that had changed. Nasrin liked both of them now. She happened to believe that the two of them would be their best selves, the perfect person, if they could somehow be combined into one. But that was something she would not tell either of them in person. She knew without any doubt that both of them would find that idea repulsive, or awful, or otherwise an indication that Nasrin didn’t actually care about either of them, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. [Break] [Break]
Nasrin tucked her stump into her chest, and had her hand not been under Heidi’s she would have reached to grab that stump as she thought over the questions and figured out how to respond. It would be easy to see that bit of concern and anxiety in Nasrin, and the twitch in her hand as she instinctually went to bring it up to hold the stump of her other arm. [Break]
She took a breath, looking away from Heidi for only a moment before regaining eye contact as she started to respond. ”I’m gonna do my fucking best to be honest here, yeah? But I’m not sure if I can answer any of that the way you want me to. I dunno how you want me to answer them, really, but I got a pretty good idea. You don’t wanna be seen as Jackie, or just...” She paused, searching for the word and rotating her hand to squeeze Heidi’s in return. ”Or just something attached to her because of your semblance. When I look at you I see Heidi, like I said, but I’d be lying if I didn’t see Jackie sometimes too. You share the same body, similar voices, like you said, and cause I know that it’s real easy to think of both of you whenever I look at one of you, if that makes sense..” [Break] [Break]
She trailed off, and Heidi could feel another twitch in her hand as she resisted the instinct to pull it free and rub the shaved side of her head. Another anxious tick. ”S’not that I see you AS Jackie, though, s’just that when I look at either of you I can kinda feel the other one in there too, see them too, yeah? I dunno if that makes sense. I’ve compared the two of you, I do all the fucking time. But I compare people who aren’t attached together like the two of you are. I compare the both of you to all my other fucking friends - what few of them there are - and I compare you to eachother, just how I am I think.” [Break]
It was very, very clear that Nasrin wasn’t very sure of any of these answers. Not because they weren’t the truth, but because she didn’t want to say anything stupid and piss someone off. She still firmly held eye contact, holding Heidi’s hand in the most comforting and loving way she could manage with one hand, slowly rubbing her thumb along the back of Heidi’s hand as she held it. [Break] [Break]
”You’re two different people, solidly so. You aren’t just a semblance and a side effect. I honestly believe that, yeah. When one of you is in control, that’s the one I see and focus on. I can’t help but think of the other one, sometimes, but it’s not like I’m going around thinkin’ you’re Jackie right now, cause you aint… And I don’t know how to answer that last bit.” She sighed as she searched Heidi’s face for how she felt about the answers thus far, for any clue that Nasrin had already fucked up and ruined what they had. [Break]
”We talked about it earlier. I’m friends with Jackie now too, I happen to like the fucking both of you! For very different reasons, and in different ways, but I like both of you… I don’t know what it woulda been like if I never met Jackie. It woulda hurt my brain a lot less, figuring out what the fuck your semblance does. It woulda made answering these questions an awful lot easier. But I can’t go back in time, and I can’t say what the fuck it woulda been like in that version of the world. So I can’t tell you if it woulda been easier or harder or if I woulda preferred that. And I’m not gonna try and guess, or just tell you what I think you wanna hear. Mostly because I don’t know what the fuck you want me to say here, but also cause I can’t damn well do so and stay honest. And I promised to be honest with you back during midterms, I aint broken that promise a single time yet and I don’t plan on starting now, yeah?” [Break] [Break]
Nasrin finished talking then, having said in her mind all she could say and hoping beyond all hope that none of it was something that would make Heidi upset. She liked both of them. She liked both of them a fuckton. And she did not want this to all fall down around her after she’d just gotten through to Heidi.
Aura: 100% [break][break]
Semblance D, Rascal Light F, Agility E, Durability C, Melee Accuracy E, Speed F, Graffiti F, Mechanics F[break][break]
Word Count: 1457/9155 [break][break]
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