Post by Holly Hock on Aug 1, 2020 18:58:33 GMT -5
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[attr="class","RDcontainer"] [attr="class","RDcontent"] Everybody has places they go to when they want to think about things. [break] [break] Mostly, Holly would lay under her bed when she wanted to ponder or cry about things. She never liked sleeping on a bed. It was the softness that was off-putting to her. Not that she hated softness in upon itself. She liked hugs and pillows. It was her back. She could not rest easily if she did not sleep on a hard surface. Today though, Holly did not crawl under her bed like she normally would do.[break] [break] Because something had dawned on her.[break] [break] She would be one year away from home soon.[break] [break] Around this date, Holly had left for Haven from home. She did not know the precise date, as she honestly would not have known the precise date she left the island. She never had to keep that much of a calendar before leaving home. She knew the year, she knew the month, she could most likely give you a close approximation of the day with about a five-day margin. She knew what time of day it was quite well, but that never mattered too much. You know the chores that you need to do each day and you did them when they were needed. That was sufficient, mostly. She was horrible with birthdays, and other special days. Most days just blended into the next one, and that was all right. She had her family to help her remind what day it was, and they had gotten used to the fact that they needed to remember Holly when it was her own birthday more than once. [break] [break] In Haven…in Mistral, she never had that luxury. People call you slow or sloppy if you did not know what precise day it was, and teachers get mad when you arrive even a few minutes late regularly. You have lunch at a set time, you get out of bed at a set time, some people even fall asleep at a set time. Sure, it was easier to keep track of time so that even Holly managed to get a hang of it within the first few weeks in Haven. She adapted, as was expected of her. She conformed to society and to what was expected of her. Holly was a student. Students go to lessons. Students need to be on time for lessons. She made sure that she arrived mostly on time. [break] [break] She hated it though.[break] [break] Instead of planning out the day, the day was basically planned out for her. Sure, that happened on Mato-Mato too at times, but it was more an exception when something important needed to happen. Now? Almost every day is planned out. You even plan out the time that you are free of doing planned things! Is it honestly free time if you plan for it to be free of other stuff? [break] [break] It was one of the many examples the girl could give you about how she felt boxed in at Haven. Like layers that just kept piling on top of each other.[break] [break] One layer was being a slave to a clock and a calendar.[break] [break] One layer was missing her family and having their unconditional support.[break] [break] One layer was knowing that she would never amount to the plan that had caused her family to send her here in the first place. [break] [break] One layer was continuing in a career path she had honestly long abandoned in her heart.[break] [break] One layer was the many mistakes she had made in her personal relationships.[break] [break] One layer was everything that happened with Rochdale which honestly was the cause of everything else feeling heavier as a result.[break] [break] One layer was just Ryan. Just… just Ryan. [break] [break] She could maybe breathe normally with one of those layers enveloping her. Maybe two, if she had moments to get gasps of air every once and a while. With all of those layers stacked on top of each other, she felt their collective weight constantly. Sometimes more heavily, sometimes less so…but there was no break. Not from everything that was weighing her down. It was too much. She felt like it was strangling her. That she would soon be without breath as the collective burden of a year of disasters deprived the girl’s lungs of even gasping for air. That she would simply let it consume her and lay down, never to stand up again as she just let her own angst consume her. [break] [break] The most depressing part?[break] [break] Holly had gotten used to it.[break] [break] Like she had gotten used to using a calendar and being aware of the minute moments of the day. Holly had gotten used to being miserable. She knew how to get through her day while barely being able to breathe with all those layers on top of her. Not the simple ‘moping and being angsty about trying to win Ryan’s affection’ kind of unhappy. She…she had gotten used to just being miserable in a more fundamental way. Being able to do what was expected of her. Following her lessons adequately, meeting with friends, even taking a bit better care of not being a colossal meanie. She did not as much about how unhappy she was. She did not really saw the point anymore. It did not improve her unimprovable situation. Neither was trying to get out of the layers stacked on top of her. It was too much weight. Every time she had tried, she had failed. She was convinced that nothing she or someone else could do was able to get her out from it.[break] [break] So, Holly had gotten used to it all…and tried to make herself as comfortable as she could while being miserable. Trying to ensure that she would not have either deep lows or excessive highs in her mood. Nothing that could raise her spirits only for the effort to fail, and nothing that could bring her down enough to make her end it all. It was what Holly had learned to accept in the last year, and she found that she needed to commemorate the occasion in a way.[break] [break] She went back to where it all started. [break] [break] The Banana Tree.[break] [break] Which was never a tree.[break] [break] Nor was it even there anymore.[break] [break] Holly had planted a banana plant in the Quad when she had come to Beacon. While it was not the first thing she had planted at the school, it was the first thing that was memorable to her. It had caused her to meet Nasrin. It had caused Holly to have hope for a friend, and have that hope dashed. It was her own fault. Likewise, it was not the first friend Holly had tried to make, and also not the first one that failed. It was the first memorable one, yet again. It had stayed with her. Even now. She had long forgotten the precise wording that day. She was not even sure who had started the verbal jabs. It was enough to know that Holly had flunked the conversation and that it had caused misery for herself and others. Kishka had gotten hurt because of it, and it had caused bad blood between people. While Holly did not know it at the time, it honestly was the first of many failures.[break] [break] So, Holly was there now. The site that once had a nice little banana plant was a bit away from the main path of the Quad. The original banana plant had long been cleared from the Quad. There were a variety of other wildflowers growing nearby that gave this part of the quad a nice enough smell this time of year. She was wearing her simple white dress as she made her way from the academy towards the place of her own little ceremony. With her, she carried two items that found appropriate for the occasion. When she had reached the place, she believed was where the plant once stood, Holly kneeled down as she placed one of the objects on the ground.[break] [break] It was a banana.[break] [break] Holly touched the grass with her hand and made sure that the blades wriggled it out of the ground like it was hair that was falling out. Wiping it away, she creates a small patch of premium dirt. Not wasting any time, Holly dug a little hole and placed the banana inside of it with about the half of it still exposed. Like she was tucking in a child, she started to speak to the little yellow guy in a motherly tone.[break] [break] “I know that this might seem scary and strange, but know that you are now a part of something greater. Had I not selected you for today, you would have just been eaten by some ungrateful student who did not truly appreciate you as I do right now. Even worse, they might have just thrown you away! Or they might leave you in their bags or take you to their room and you would just rot there. You would have felt your life slowly pass by hour by hour, day by day. You would first notice little brown spots, and they would soon grow larger. Your insides, now still fresh and yummy would soon turn into mush. Your skin would become loose before it starts to shrivel up. Your insides would have been already rotten at that point, and all of that puss and grime would pour out of you. People would smell your decay. They would think of you as waste and call themselves stupid for not having addressed your sorry condition before it was too late. Your end would not have been a kind one, my little darling.”[break] [break] The second item Holly had brought was just a tiny bit of fire dust, which she sprinkled on the piece of fruit like she was putting sugar on a pancake.[break] [break] “You now serve a greater purpose. You were created by me. You have a little bit of my strength poured into you. We are connected, in a way. I believe so. While I give my care to all my children, you are special! I will not have you be devoured by a thankless wretch or become a putrid shell of your former self. I will give you peace and an end in the place where my misery started. I am too cowardly to end my own pain, and too weak to pull myself up. I do have the strength to set you free, though. To give you a more meaningful end to your existence. By your sacrifice, I will be able to release a part of me and set it free. By my hand and my design, and no one else’s. Forgive me, and become eternal.”[break] [break] Bowing her head slightly to the little fruit, Holly held her hands above the sacrificial lamb and used her aura to ignite the dust. The flames reflected in her magenta eyes as the banana was set ablaze. She had removed enough of the grass to ensure that nothing else would catch fire, and the amount of dust was little enough to only cause a gentle flame that slowly crisped its fuel. As the banana turned black and smoke started to rise, Holly kept her head low as was tradition. She had just performed a simple funeral rite as was customary for her people. Mato-Mato was known to burn their dead to ensure that their souls became free from the body. Holly burned here not a simple banana. It had a part of her inside of it, if only a small fraction used to make it grow. By setting it ablaze, she could mourn that what she had truly lost during this one year above all else.[break] [break] Herself. |
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[attr="class","RDwortag"] Words: 1949, Thread Total: 1949 | [attr="class","RDwortag"] Aura: 98% |
[attr="class","RDnotes"] Semblance: C, Wildflower: E, Survival: F, Gardening: F, Scroll-usage: F, Martial Arts: F, Healing: E, Acrobatics: F, Stamina: E |
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