Post by Sinopia DeStellanova on Nov 23, 2020 0:42:32 GMT -5
There were obvious hazards with her chosen occupation. Obvious hazards that came with going after dangerous people and situations. Most people focused on the physical problems: the risk of injury or death. That was a hazard, but it wasn't actually one she had to deal with that often, or at least not as often as someone like Knight did. What always got to her was the sheer emotional overload that came from it all. She could be cool in the moment most of the time. Detach herself from the world and focus on what needed to be done. Once the danger passed and she could no longer act as an observer in her own body, the emotions hit her like a truck. It was likely the only thing stopping her from becoming a genuine adrenaline junkie.
There were some missions where this didn't happen. Normally, they were very easy, or failing that, went perfectly with no death, no injury, and people not doing anything more than angrily shaking their fist at her. Typically, these were the missions where she was never seen and no one ever knew she was there.
Kerch was not one of those missions. She knew going in that it would be awful. She didn't respond well to death, and someone was probably going to have to die. Going in, she knew that there was a near 0% chance that she'd get through it without helping Knight kill someone. Based on the description provided from the person that first reported the assault, there wasn't that much more of a chance that there wouldn't be casualties in the civilian population or that the town itself wouldn't be devastated. That was exactly why she needed to go. To try to salvage what she could. To try to save everyone she could manage. To make sure no other towns would fall victim to whoever was doing this. Even though she knew full well that this would not be a pleasant job and would make her feel awful, she went anyway to try to do something.
She was paying for that decision now.
It's not like she regretted the decision, but she felt terrible right now. She had no idea how long she had been awake now. Getting to Kerch took a long time. It felt like her stay in Kerch lasted hours, if not days, but that was undoubtedly because of the danger making it difficult to track time. The sun never came up, it couldn't have been days. Finding transportation turned out to be an ordeal, so she had to carry Knight to Argus before she managed to find anything. Then she had to drive back. She was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted and she still had no idea how much time had passed.
The sun set hours ago. Probably hours ago. It had definitely been a long time since she was finally able to lie down and try to get some sleep. Futile. Absolutely futile. It always was after missions like this. Even though her body was begging for rest, her mind couldn't stop racing. Every second she stayed relaxed enough to fall asleep, her mind kept going over the events of the mission and everything she did wrong. It reminded her in great detail of every person she couldn't save, every building that was destroyed, and that she utterly failed to save those peoples' home when she promised she would. Her mind even fixated on things that weren't her fault, like how if she drove just a little faster maybe she could have saved some of the faunus too.
At first, she tried cleaning her room in an effort to keep her hands busy. It was the cleanest it had been in a few months now, and that was saying something because she was a good house keeper and kept the house pretty clean to begin with. She then moved to the downstairs and kept working until her arms were starting to get too sore to move. Not surprising, she had to carry Knight a pretty long distance after all. Even after that, she couldn't get to sleep. Unsure of what else to do, Red decided to go for a quick walk. Maybe pick up a quick snack from the gas station not too far from where they lived. It seemed like a good idea to her sleep deprived mind.
Winter was starting to settle over Mistral and after being in Vacuo for so long, the cold felt strange. The desert could get pretty cold at night, but not cold like the mountains were. A few flakes of snow were starting to drift down, but it was light enough that she didn't even notice. That was rare for her. Normally, she noticed everything and couldn't tune any of it out. It was exhausting and painful if she was anywhere with more than a dozen people. Right now, she could barely even pay attention to what was in front of her, relying on auto-pilot to get her to where she needed to go.
Even though her body was moving, her mind was clearly elsewhere. If the dazed look in her eyes wasn't enough, her eyes were completely blood-shot and the dark bags under her eyes were even more prominent. Further, she was about to walk right into a well-lit street light that was perfectly visible. While her auto-pilot was good, it wasn't quite good enough to navigate obstacles or make perfect turns, and she showed absolutely no sign of trying to avoid it.
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925/925
There were some missions where this didn't happen. Normally, they were very easy, or failing that, went perfectly with no death, no injury, and people not doing anything more than angrily shaking their fist at her. Typically, these were the missions where she was never seen and no one ever knew she was there.
Kerch was not one of those missions. She knew going in that it would be awful. She didn't respond well to death, and someone was probably going to have to die. Going in, she knew that there was a near 0% chance that she'd get through it without helping Knight kill someone. Based on the description provided from the person that first reported the assault, there wasn't that much more of a chance that there wouldn't be casualties in the civilian population or that the town itself wouldn't be devastated. That was exactly why she needed to go. To try to salvage what she could. To try to save everyone she could manage. To make sure no other towns would fall victim to whoever was doing this. Even though she knew full well that this would not be a pleasant job and would make her feel awful, she went anyway to try to do something.
She was paying for that decision now.
It's not like she regretted the decision, but she felt terrible right now. She had no idea how long she had been awake now. Getting to Kerch took a long time. It felt like her stay in Kerch lasted hours, if not days, but that was undoubtedly because of the danger making it difficult to track time. The sun never came up, it couldn't have been days. Finding transportation turned out to be an ordeal, so she had to carry Knight to Argus before she managed to find anything. Then she had to drive back. She was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted and she still had no idea how much time had passed.
The sun set hours ago. Probably hours ago. It had definitely been a long time since she was finally able to lie down and try to get some sleep. Futile. Absolutely futile. It always was after missions like this. Even though her body was begging for rest, her mind couldn't stop racing. Every second she stayed relaxed enough to fall asleep, her mind kept going over the events of the mission and everything she did wrong. It reminded her in great detail of every person she couldn't save, every building that was destroyed, and that she utterly failed to save those peoples' home when she promised she would. Her mind even fixated on things that weren't her fault, like how if she drove just a little faster maybe she could have saved some of the faunus too.
At first, she tried cleaning her room in an effort to keep her hands busy. It was the cleanest it had been in a few months now, and that was saying something because she was a good house keeper and kept the house pretty clean to begin with. She then moved to the downstairs and kept working until her arms were starting to get too sore to move. Not surprising, she had to carry Knight a pretty long distance after all. Even after that, she couldn't get to sleep. Unsure of what else to do, Red decided to go for a quick walk. Maybe pick up a quick snack from the gas station not too far from where they lived. It seemed like a good idea to her sleep deprived mind.
Winter was starting to settle over Mistral and after being in Vacuo for so long, the cold felt strange. The desert could get pretty cold at night, but not cold like the mountains were. A few flakes of snow were starting to drift down, but it was light enough that she didn't even notice. That was rare for her. Normally, she noticed everything and couldn't tune any of it out. It was exhausting and painful if she was anywhere with more than a dozen people. Right now, she could barely even pay attention to what was in front of her, relying on auto-pilot to get her to where she needed to go.
Even though her body was moving, her mind was clearly elsewhere. If the dazed look in her eyes wasn't enough, her eyes were completely blood-shot and the dark bags under her eyes were even more prominent. Further, she was about to walk right into a well-lit street light that was perfectly visible. While her auto-pilot was good, it wasn't quite good enough to navigate obstacles or make perfect turns, and she showed absolutely no sign of trying to avoid it.
---
925/925