[Aegle Verdant]

The punch came quick, sliding between Aegle's guard, to slam right into the crooked girl's stomach. Not a glancing blow, but one that all but lifted her onto the balls of her feet, then dropped her back on her heels like a sack of potatoes. Her breath all came rushing out at once, torn free of her lungs with hooks of molten steel. Even through her aura, Doc's fist felt like a mace blow, a solid hunk of steel swung right into her guts. It would definitely be leaving a bruise.
Bruises were one thing Aegle had no shortage of. Ten minutes in the doctor's sweet and loving care had yielded a plethora of them. Her cheek was swollen where a nasty left hook had gotten through, and her forearms were black and purple all the way from elbow to wrist. Aegle had gotten pretty good at fine tuning her aura to keep the damage to a minimum, but the blows had been relentless, just as she had asked.

Eyes watering, Aegle staggered back, arms crossed around her stomach. She tried to regain her footing, tried to find her form, but the pain was moving through her in pulses of white hot fire, nested in the soft flesh of her stomach.
'Gotta keep standing! She thought, desperate, but it was no use. Aegle's eyes narrowed, her knees buckled, and she sank slowly down to the ground, unable to stop herself. It was like all the strength had been ripped free of her body, along side the breath the punch had stolen from her. Aegle tried to breathe, eyes narrowed to watering slits, but managed only to shudder around the scalding agony that was her stomach. She quite forgot they were still fighting, that she'd ask the Doc not to stop until Aegle yielded. Not that Aegle had the breath to yield, or to do much of anything for that matter.
'Should have gotten out of the way.' She thought, as her mouth opened and closed, reminiscent of a landed fish, and her head swam in a sudden tide of nausea. 'Should have blocked it, at least.'
But she hadn't. Like a fool, Aegle had let the blow through her guard, and now she was paying the price. Buckling forward, Aegle spat out a mouthful of bile, shuddered, and sucked in an agonizingly shallow breath. It hurt to breathe, but not so much as not breathing hurt, the answering pain where she'd been punched almost came as a relief. At least now she knew that a blow to the gut was not the sort of thing she could stomach.
A twisted grin plastered itself across her face at that thought, before a second wave of nausea wiped it off again. She heaved up another mouthful of something, coughed, gasped, groaned.
'Yield.' She might croaked, though it was stating the obvious. Her aura was still up, but it was painfully clear that she was done fighting. Instead, Aegle fell forward onto hands and knees, and tried to find the strength to stand.

That was the worst thing about this trap that Aegle had made for herself. She had control of the situation, in that she could end the 'fight' whenever she wanted, simply by admitting defeat. There was no winning, of course, not against a trained huntress like the Doctor, so each session inevitably devolved to seeing just how much punishment Aegle could endure. Which, of course, was exactly why she'd asked Doc for this sort of training.
Lifting her head, the room swam back into focus around her. They didn't need a big room, the two of them. Neither one used large weapons or a flashy semblance, only their fists. The Doctor was standing nearby, fist still half extended in the sucker-punch that had stolen all of Aegle's wind. She pushed herself up as far as her haunches, then another wave of nausea dropped her back down to her knees. Teeth gritted, Aegle punched the floor, the only punch she'd managed to land since they'd started, and tried again. This time she made it off of her hands and staggered back to upright. The Doc was showing some restraint, letting her stand up, but then she was probably just waiting for Aegle to tell her to stop. Keeping one hand low, protectively shielding the world of hurt that was her stomach, Aegle raised her other hand into an unsteady guard. She should have yielded; She knew it, Doc knew it.
'Just a little longer,' Aegle thought, 'Just one more punch. Y'can take one more punch.'
She stepped forward, off balance, and put a clumsy jab out for where her blurred vision told her Doc's face was. Not much hope of that connecting; Should have yielded. Aegle grit her teeth, waiting on the inevitable counter attack.

words - 809

[Doctor Yuki Haragitanai]

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Relatively speaking, ten minutes was a long ass time in an all-out fistfight. Unfortunately for poor Aegle Verdant, these sessions were slowly becoming less and less of a training session, and more of a brute-sided beatdown with the girl on the ground dry heaving for a solid five minutes before being forced up by Doctor Haragitanai at her request. It had been roughly two week since their personal training routine started, and due to accommodations with her schedule, Doctor Haragitanai would send a personal request for Aegle to be summoned to the Infirmary every other day, three times a week. This would make the sixth session that they are on currently, as noted on the worn calendar that's posted above her desk. Aegle would arrive at the room at the designated time without fail, ready to go as Doctor Haragitanai would tack up a sign of her being away for an hour. Once they would arrive at one of the various training facilities that Haven Academy provided for the students, things would change rather quickly.
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As discussed during the first session, their routine would consist of early warm-ups, the majority being a massive spar session, with the last bit of time set for pointers, demonstrations, lectures, and any questions that Aegle had. In addition, the spars would continue until the timer ran out, or Aegle called out to 'yield' and end the spar prematurely. The first week went about as well as Doctor Haragitanai would have expected, and that was with bruises, broken bones, and a lot of dramatic falls. There were a couple yields to which Doctor Haragitanai would stop and focus on healing before pointing out what went wrong. Good thing her Semblance can fix two out of the three problems and they would continue when Aegle can catch her breath. Usually one would start picking up on the tips and tricks after experiencing the same thing over and over, or at least learn to actively avoid the tells. However, something started to bother Doctor Haragitanai recently...
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For one, the spars were becoming heavily one-sided, despite her not changing anything in terms of fighting tactics. Secondly, she seemed to be complaining less about her injuries, or more specifically, she had been refusing to yield a lot more often despite running on fumes. Either she had been growing thicker skin, or she was intentionally letting these hits get in to try and grow it. Aegle probably had her reasons, but Doctor Haragitanai wasn't having that. The agreement was that she was taking an hour of her time outside of managing student's health to catch Aegle up to speed and be able to hold her own in actual combat, not be her hourly stress relief every other day. She had Nikolas for that anyways. In either case, whatever Aegle was up to, she wasn't letting her in on it, and that was quite frankly what was pissing her off. The nerve of this girl agreeing to these conditions, and suddenly adding her own without properly communicating it to her.
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All of this was speculation of course. There was a real possibility that Aegle simply wasn't improving and that there could be a potential need to call it quits, but Doctor Haragitanai had to be sure. She wanted to be sure before making a decision, therefore she waited until the end of the second week of beatdowns before bringing it up. Every spar session after the warm-up started with the usual combo. A quick jab, followed by a step and a second jab before shifting her body for a hard hook to the head and an uppercut towards the chin. With each punch, Doctor Haragitanai had taught her the basic fundamentals about bobs, weaves, and proper blocking techniques. However, it seemed she only got about a third of that based on the accumulating bruises on her arms, face, and body. By the sixth session, it was quite clear that she was simply trying to push herself past her limits of getting the shit beaten out of her by Doctor Haragitanai.
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Despite this, Doctor Haragitanai didn't give an ounce of hesitation as she treated each feeble attack by Aegle as a threat to her life, and she would respond in kind. With some minor restraint of course, as it wouldn't go very well on her record for punching a hole into her student. As Aegle came stumbling in with a pathetic looking jab, Doctor Haragitanai merely gazed back unflinchingly as she took the clumsy jab, which had struck her left shoulder with about as much strength as someone throwing a heavy ball at her. However, what was to come would have probably made Aegle wished she had stayed down.
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Suddenly the annoyed look on Doctor Haragitanai's face turned into one of unbridled fury as she double downed on an unhindered uppercut to the diaphragm and bottom part of Aegle's ribs that she left wide open in a feeble attempt to toss defense to the wind with her 'final attack' or some shit. There was nothing brave, nor noble about this. Huntsmen and Huntresses die often, and this was a profession with an incredibly high mortality rate. Staying down would have been the appropriate option to have chose here, but this little brat decided to not only get up and throw another punch her way, but insulted every Huntsman and Huntress that had died with her sad excuse of an attempt. Going beyond one's own limits is one thing, but to make a habit of it and expect the same shit to work out on the field not only endangered one's own life, but the lives of those who entrusted their safety to them. This pissed off Doctor Haragitanai more than anything, and was was sure as shit ready to let Aegle know as she not only didn't use her Semblance to make sure the internal damage was mitigated, but put her entire body into this single punch to make sure she stayed down, whether her body agreed or not.
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As soon as she keeled over, Doctor Haragitanai would walk up to Aegle with a fierce, incredibly pissed-off look on her face before she folded her arms. "Session's over, brat. Now, riddle me this: Why do you think I ended the session so early? If you give a smart ass answer, I'll fucking deck you again." Based on the look on her face, she probably wasn't kidding.

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Word Count: 1073

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Additional Notes: Angerydoc.png

[attr="class","dangercredits"]cyan of pixel perfect

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[Aegle Verdant]

Aegle saw the punch coming. She saw it in the flash of anger that slashed itself suddenly into Doc's face, in the ripple of movement along her neck and shoulder; She even felt it, sensing where it would land before the fist was in flight. Weeks of taking beatings from the doctor had gotten her very good at reading her movements. Not that it did her much good. Knowing where the punch was coming from, where it would land, were one thing, actually being able to get out of the way or intercept it was another entirely. Even if Aegle had wanted to, she couldn't have stopped this punch. She was over extended, off balance, and the arm she should have parried with was raised high in the recoil of a lackluster jab. So, having seen the punch, Aegle could do nothing other than accept it.

It hurt. It hurt far more than the last one had. It thudded into Aegle's ribs with the force of a car-wreck, and turned the whole world red with its impact. She folded around it, staggered one step back, then came crashing down on her knees like the whole world had been dropped on her shoulders. If she had thought the last punch had stolen her strength, this final punch had turned that strength against her. Aegle didn't make a sound. She couldn't. Her mouth hung open, near as wide as her eyes, but not a noise came out.
"Session's over, brat." Said Doctor Yuki Haragitanai. Aegle's arms wrapped around her chest, the pain in her stomach wholly forgotten, and her whole body started to shudder. It took her about that long to realize her aura had been shattered, completely and utterly, by the doctor's final blow. It took her that long to realize Doc must have been holding back up until right then.

Lifting her head, Aegle found the doctor, with her ax-murderous face, staring down at her with no shortage of disapproval and impatience.
"Now, riddle me this," She said, making no effort to hide her monumental annoyance, "Why do you think I ended the session so early?"
The features on her face suddenly sharpened, and she added, "If you give a smart ass answer, I'll fucking deck you again."
She'd do it too, Aegle had no doubt. Being out of aura was not much protection from a woman who could heal any of the injuries she happened to inflict. It was the doctor's lack of restraint and patience which Aegle had been counting on, after all, suiting her perfectly to the crooked girl's design. Would that she'd been a tiny bit less observant too; Aegle was pretty sure she knew why Doc had stopped the fight...

Aegle winced and searched for her voice; A vain search, at first. She made herself sit up, and accomplished something approaching upright, though she remained kneeling on the floor. With gritted teeth, she drew as deep a breath as the ache in her ribs would allow, before the pain turned to a knife in her side. Something was definitely broken there, she thought, or at the very least cracked. She touched the spot with one hand, and thought she could feel her bones moving beneath her skin. Well, she had wanted to know what that felt like, though she was struggling to remember why.
"S'it cause I kept fightin'?" She asked, fully expecting the question would earn her a black eye to go with her broken rib. The truth was, there was no one reason why Doc had stopped the fight, nor why she'd chosen to do it by wholly incapacitating Aegle, and they both knew it. Or, perhaps there was one reason, but it was not a reason Aegle knew how to put into a single, coherent sentence. She tried to smile, but winced instead. The best thing to do right then would have been to come clean, stop fighting, and tell Doc how sorry she was. If the last two weeks had taught her anything, it was that Doctor Yuki Haragitanai was nowhere near as patient as the rest of Haven's faculty, and if she suspected Aegle had been playing her false, she was wont to make the correction of that behavior a most uncomfortable experience.
Instead, Aegle tried to stand up. Tried was the operative word, because she never made it off her knees. Somehow, trying to move her legs made her chest hurt, and they gave out before she could even start to get them back under herself.
"W-wait," Aegle flung up a hand, warding off a punch every synapse and nerve was expecting, "Is it cause I didn't block the last two punches, yeah?" Didn't, at least in the first one's case, not couldn't.
She crumpled back down, smiled for all but a second, then turned very, very pale. This was a new feeling, a coldness that seemed to seep into her joints and spread across her skin like a fine layer of ice, all while the rest of her seemed to burn with feverish heat.
With her hand still up, feebly protecting her face, Aegle looked at the doctor, "Or is it cause I ain't gettin' any better?"
Rather, say she'd gotten considerably worse since their first session. Since Aegle had realized the doctor wouldn't hold back. Since the mission at the wall...
"S'all the above, I reckon." Aegle forced out a smile, then forced that into a grin, and let her head hang loose on her shoulders, "M'not tryin' t'be smart, yeah? But y'can punch me again anyway, if y'reckon I need it."

words - 935

[Doctor Yuki Haragitanai]

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'S'it cause I kept fightin?'
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Well no fucking shit that was one of the reasons, and Doctor Haragitanai was getting more irritated as she tried to stand up. Was she going to try and fight again? The Doctor took a heavy step, complimented with a heavy thud of her steel-toed combat boots as she reared her fist back to go for a heavy punch to the face before Aegle took a defensive position and continued her answer. Had this been another session, Doctor Haragitanai would have went through with her punch and fuckin' knocked Aegle's lights out, but she held back as she stopped her fist inches away from the tenderized bag of meat. Well, Doctor Haragitanai let Aegle blurt out everything that came to her mind as she rambled about letting the first punch through, which confirmed that she had indeed been intentionally letting the punches through at least more than a couple times during their previous sessions. Doctor Haragitanai raised an eyebrow as she also gave a dejected response about her lack of improvement. It doesn't take a genius to also review the footage of student performances, since it's open to the faculty, so Doctor Haragitanai pretty much saw everything then too.
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As she asked if it was all of the previously mentioned, Doctor Haragitanai let out a sharp exhale through her nose as she approached Aegle, towering over her as she laid there with her head resting on her shoulders and struggling to stay up. She then bent down so that she was eye-level with Aegle before proceeding. First, she began with a sharp flick to her forehead, which was probably painful enough with how she was handling her body, but she did invite her to hit her anyways. "Couple things to address here." Doctor Haragitanai lifted up two fingers as she maintained her gaze with Aegle, her expression returning to that of her usual annoyed look. "One, I've noticed that you haven't been putting it into your all during these sessions. In that you've been letting these easily telegraphed hits land on you without so much as a word. At first I chalked it up to your inexperience, but we both know that's bullshit, as you've told me that you've practiced the basics with your brother, and got a refresher from me. Based on your second response, however, I now know that's not the case, and that you've been intentionally letting me wallop your ass."
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Doctor Haragitanai rubbed her eyes. "Secondly, I had promised you that we would work together to catch you up to speed, but the promise also entailed that you would hold up your end of the bargain and communicate to me what's going on. In both accounts, I've noticed that you failed to do something as simple as speaking up, and instead allowed things to drag out this long to the point where I had to say something, so here we are." Doctor Haragitanai said as she shifted her head from side to side to let out some pressure, followed by a resound series of cracks from her neck. "Then again, I suppose it was my own fault for not doing a proper evaluation in between these sessions, so we're gonna have one now. Deal with it. It's probably a whole lot better than me breaking your ribs anyways. What's on your mind? Why have you been letting these easily blockable and dodgeable attacks getting through? You were a lot more eager during the first few sessions."
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Doctor Haragitanai wouldn't reckon that she had something to prove by letting these hits get through, but rather there was a more serious problem underneath this that had to be addressed before the training could continue. Doctor Haragitanai doubted that Aegle had lost interest in this already and was just going through the motions, but she had to make sure. She was a physician first and foremost, but a PhD didn't give her the ability to read minds, so she had to settle for the next best thing and use her words. Hopefully Aegle would have the common sense to open up, but push come to shove, she could always resort to her usual methods of information extraction, which may or may not involve more 'physical correction techniques'.

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Additional Notes: pep-talk time

[attr="class","dangercredits"]cyan of pixel perfect

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[Aegle Verdant]

It wasn't a punch that Aegle got though, but a solid flick to the very center of her forehead. She winced, then cringed as the doctor stooped down to look her in the eyes. Her grin turned sheepish in the face of Doc's obvious displeasure, and she had the good sense to remain quiet during the older woman's quite long winded undressing of the situation. Doc didn't say anything Aegle hadn't already already thought or been thinking. It was true, she had been quite disingenuous in her 'training' with the older woman, and had categorically misrepresented her own abilities during those sessions. If anything, Aegle was just surprised it had taken Doc as long as it had to notice. Then again, she'd probably been harboring her suspicions for a while now, and had just been waiting to see if Aegle might get bored of her deception; The last couple of beatings she'd gotten had been on the more severe side, after all.
"What's on your mind?" Doctor Yuki Haragitanai asked, in closing, "Why have you been letting these easily blockable and dodgeable attacks getting through? You were a lot more eager during the first few sessions."

Aegle eyed the doctor thoughtfully, her smile stretched reflexively tight across her bone-pale face. How much further dared she push the good doctor, and what might she do if she overstepped Doc's limited forbearance? Another punch seemed the obvious answer; Doc was not shy about providing physical encouragement, as Aegle's aching side could attest. That wouldn't have been so bad; In a way, it was exactly what Aegle wanted from the older woman. There was a more troubling possibility though. There was a chance that Doc, frustrated by Aegle's demonstrable lack of cooperation and trust, might decide they were both better off making this their last meeting. Worse, Doc might go to the other professors and share whatever theory or doubt she had about Aegle with them, and the other professors already thought little enough of Aegle to start with; Another step towards expulsion, and no mistake.

Where did that leave her though? She dared not push Doc any further, but actually admitting what she had been doing and why she had been doing it... That would require trust, and it was specifically because Aegle did not trust Doc that she'd done all this to begin with.
'Y'knew this was gonna happen, sooner or later.' Aegle thought, amused by her own infinite capacity to go one making bad decisions just for the sake of momentum and sheer stubbornness. One might think, having noticed that flaw in herself, Aegle might have gone some ways to correcting it, but self-improvement, like so much else, was not something she'd much talent for.
"I had my first mission last week." Aegle said finally. She was still smiling, the expression gouged deep into the pained creases of her face. She didn't know how much Doc knew about that mission, so decided to share all of it with her.
"Watchin' the walls, y'know? While all the real fighters were away, yeah?" Even at the time, Aegle had been under no illusions. The gates needed watching, sure, but it was the scrapings of Haven who'd been set to watch them. The trainees who could not be trusted or who did not trust themselves. Two categories which she, herself, fell snugly into.

She might have said more but, just then, Aegle's nerve failed her. Doc was too close, already knew too much. She'd seen Aegle's files after all. For a moment, Aegle floundered, realizing just how little she wanted to have this conversation. Her smile shrank, some of the pain showed through, and then disappeared entirely. She grimaced at Doc, her stomach tied tightly in a knot, and felt a sudden upwelling of something wholly divorced from the pain she was in, yet no less grievous for all that.
In the end, Aegle averted her eyes, unable to look at the hard lines of the doctor's face, unable to meet her judgmental eyes, unwilling to read her emotions. She looked at her knees instead.
"How old were ya," She asked, in a tiny voice, "When y'saw y'first Grimm?"
Aegle collapsed in on herself. Suddenly, sitting up straight seemed too much of an effort. Maybe she hoped that, if she could come at the problem from a different way, it'd be easier to say out loud. If only she found the right words, she could admit it all. So Aegle made herself speak, bolstering her nerve with the sound of her own cracked and quiet voice.
"M'brother, m'biggest brother I mean... He was twelve when he saw his first Grimm, yeah? M'other brother was thirteen..."
She shrugged, and grinned, and even giggled softly.
"Well, ya've read my files. What d'ya think I was doin' when I was twelve n' thirteen?" Her smile died again, and she shrank in on herself, "I saw my first Grimm last week..."

Again, she was at an impass, unsure how to continue. It hadn't gotten any easier to say what needed saying, to confess. So Aegle tried again, coming at it from a new direction once more.
"Y'hear the stories, yeah? From people who've seen the Grimm, who've fought 'em. Y'think y'know what they are, what t'expect..." Her mouth was dry as sand paper. Again, Aegle's voice dwindled to silence, again she found herself stood before that inevitable destination where all three paths had be pointed.
"Ya've read my files. I know what death is..."
'Death is sixteen and five...'
"I've been waitin' t'die since I was ten years old. I didn't think I was scared of it anymore..."

Suddenly, it all seemed quite absurd. Ridiculous. Her grin returned, and this time it etched itself into place, fixed as a carving in stone. It suddenly seemed very funny. Not just that she'd realized she was afraid to die, but that it had taken almost dying to make her realize it, even though she'd been almost dying for more than half of her life. It was also that, of all the people in Remnant she should be telling this all to, it was a woman whom she barely knew and didn't like. In fact, not only did Aegle not like Doc, but it had been how much Doc scared her which had lead to this whole senseless arrangement to begin with.
"I reckon I'm crazy, y'know? My brain don't work right, most've the time. I froze, yeah? That beowolf was comin' up the wall and I just... If Kishka hadn't..."
Aegle giggled and shook her head.
"Then I lost my mind, I think; I don't even remember half of it."
Lifting her head, Aegle looked right at the doctor, grinning her mannequin grin, "I could've gotten the lot of us kill, yeah? All because I was scared. All because I was a coward."
"Well, what d'ya do when y'aint good enough? Y'train, right? And how d'ya train away fear?"
Aegle's smile turned.
"Well, I guess y'gotta be scared, aint'cha? Y'gotta do things y'don't wanna do, things y'know will hurt. Y'gotta go on doin' 'em, and all the while knowin' that when someone eventually figures out what y'doin' that it's gonna be worse, cause then y'gotta explain what y'were thinkin', yeah? Y'gotta tell 'em to their face that y'used 'em, because they scare you, and y'knew they could be trusted t'hurt you, so maybe next time y'wouldn't be such a useless fuckin' coward, y'know?"

Aegle made herself watch Doc's face, not at all sure what she was looking for, but dreading whatever she might see. Then, as the last of her nerve fizzled out, she dropped her head again and, shuddered out a breath in what might have been laughter.
"Turns out," She mused, "I ain't half so scared of pain as I am of tellin' the truth."

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[Doctor Yuki Haragitanai]

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The more that Aegle spoke, the more Doctor Haragitanai's face softened as she began to talk more about herself and her thoughts. Well, about as soft as her face would actually allow her. Years of frowns and scowls have left some rather permanent markings on her face, so the best she could do was a neutral face as she listened to what was on her mind. Aegle prefaced her rambling with the start of her first mission: The Perimeter Defense. "Yeah, I recall. It was for incoming students who had transferred partway in." Doctor Haragitanai suspected that she probably thought that the mission was designated for people who weren't capable of taking on the Argus Limited job. In reality, it was a more of a coincidence that these two missions happened concurrently next to each other. On paper, the jobs were plain and simple: Students were assigned to the escort mission while the remaining students were delegated to watching the wall, and the selection of students were more of a convenience factor than anything that had to do with skill. Doctor Haragitanai wasn't going to say anything, however, as she was sure anything she would say to dismiss that preconceived notion would be met with skepticism and a fake attempt at comforting the fragile one.
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However, the word real fighters pissed her off, which was denoted by a slight furrow of the eyebrow as she said it. What kind of backwards logic was she using where students were categorized as 'real' or 'fake'? As far as she could tell, all students were treated with the same level of expectations that would be placed on an upcoming Huntsman or Huntress. There was no place for favoritism or preferences in this environment, especially where the endgoal is riddled with pitfalls for students to fall into. Too much confidence makes one careless, and too little resolve will make one hesitate. She continued to listen, studying Aegle's facial expression as she shifted topics. It was pretty obvious that she tried really hard to smile past it all. A habit many people form as a means of coping, but that was besides the point. Upon hearing her question, Doctor Haragitanai blinked as she watched Aegle collapse before continuing. Seemed like a rhetorical question, as she continued to talk about how her brothers first Grimm experience. Right, chances were that while she lived confined to her hospital beds, she lived her life vicariously through her brothers. Unfortunately for her, hearing stories about Grimm, and facing one head on are two separate things. Learning something in the classroom and the difficulties of applying it to the field under stress: Something Doctor Haragitanai knew all too well.
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'I've been waitin' t'die since I was ten years old. I didn't think I was scared of it anymore...'
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"But things change when you experience it firsthand, I know." Doctor Haragitanai said in response. "Yeah, I did." She nodded in response to her statement of her reading her file, so there was at least that on the table of things to get out of the way. Doctor Haragitanai's expression didn't change as she watched Aegle's face stretched into an unsettling smile. Then the gears started to shift back to the mission. Right. Upon reviewing the footage, it seemed pretty obvious that the nerves got to her, and as a result, she nearly put herself and her group in jeopardy. She then began to get to the part that Doctor Haragitanai was half-expecting the answer for, and she got it. Her own decided way of fixing herself: Throwing herself into a situation where she would be forced to face fear over and over again until she steeled her own nerves. The expected result would be to eventually numb herself up to that fear, right?
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'Turns out, I ain't half so scared of pain as I am of tellin' the truth.'
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Well, this was a difficult one, to say the least. Except the dynamic has shifted, now that Doctor Haragitanai knew what she was looking for. It was pretty obvious to her that Aegle was having difficulty opening up to people like her, and quite frankly, the Doctor didn't even know if that wall between them will ever go down. However, that was the path that they hadn't tried yet, and might as well go with this one. "Before I was hired here at Haven, I worked as a Medical Relief on the field for Hunters and Huntresses. My job encompassed delivering relief supplies to remote locations during a disaster, after an unexpected Grimm attack, hell even healing people who were at death's door only to throw them back into the place that got them there." Doctor Haragitanai craned her neck from maintaining her position while listening to Aegle before continuing. "It was a difficult job, but one that I put my all into. Being a medic in a field where you've got a target painted on your back at all times is never easy, but I put my all into it. Why? Because I knew that my calling wasn't in an office, but out there on the field where people were fighting for a bigger purpose."
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Doctor Haragitanai reached out, tentatively, to put a hand on Aegle's shoulder and grasped it firmly. "In this field, death is a lot more common than you can ever imagine. The reality is, it's not as quiet as going to sleep and never waking up again in a hospital bed. It's getting shot and stabbed to death by bandits, or getting your entrails strewn across the floor and eaten by Grimm. It's messy, gruesome, and terrifying as fuck." She shook her head. "There's never, ever, a time where you won't fear death. The moment you do is the moment that you will certainly get yourself and other people killed. Aegle." Doctor Haragitanai looked at her with a serious expression on her face.
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"I'll be frank with you. There is no way to eliminate fear from your mind. That kind of mindset is what got my unit killed years ago, and what made me realize how weak I was." Doctor Haragitanai let the words roll out of her mouth seamlessly. She had accepted the fact that her recklessness and confidence had costed the lives of the people that she was tasked to protect. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't save them all. The families of those that died chastised her for not saving them, and those that lived couldn't live with the burden of surviving. "However, that isn't to say you're entirely shit fucked." Doctor Haragitanai released her grip on Aegle before continuing.
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"Fear is a natural part of us. It's what keeps us alive. Do you know what separates normal people from Huntsmen and Huntresses, though? It's finding the resolve to face that enemy despite the fear. That doesn't mean run into certain doom like a dumbshit and expecting yourself to come out on top, that's fictional horseshit. It means being able to think calmly and rationally in a dangerous situation, and knowing what's the best course of action to take." Was that the right thing to say? Doctor Haragitani thought for a second as she tried to figure out just what to say to this hot mess. It was obvious that she wanted to push herself to make up for the lack of results during her first deployed mission, but this method wasn't the way. She was doing too much while expecting the wrong type of results.
"You'll never be able to fully train away fear by getting the shit beaten out of yourself by me. That's like the same as comparing facing death in a hospital bed to facing death in the jaws of a Beowolf." Doctor Haragitanai said flatly.
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Doctor Haragitanai figured that she had suffered enough broken bones for the time being and walked over to the corner where their duffel bags laid. She picked up her clear water bottle and walked back to Aegle to hand it to her before Doctor Haragitanai began to use her Semblance to inspect and repair the internal damages inflicted on Aegle. She didn't need her to suddenly collapse due to internal bleeding cause of a punctured rib. It also gave Aegle a chance to catch her breath and follow up with any comments. At the very least, she had some idea of what she was going to ask her next, and whether or not she wanted to hear the answer was up to whether or not she still felt like talking to her.

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Additional Notes: The worst heart-to-heart ever

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[Aegle Verdant]

Aegle stared at Doc for a long time, even once the older woman was done speaking. She was struck by the uncomfortable, though no less uncertain for that, realization that this hatchet faced doctor, a professional in a profession she neither admired nor especially trusted, was trying to help her, and not in the way Aegle was accustomed to doctors and their 'helping'; If frank, and coarse, and perhaps even unpleasant, Doc was none the less honest. It made her feel strange and unsteady, and utterly unsure as to how to proceed. All the trust she'd put in Doc up until that point had been a means to an end, either one of self-inflicted penance or as a means of forestalling any further calamity. Now, most unexpectedly, she found herself wondering if she might trust the older woman for trust's sake. It had given her no pleasure to tell Doc why she'd been using their sessions together the way she had, that had been the whole point, but might she not avail herself of the physician's willing ear? Might she not, for once, make a confession for the sake of her own heart?

She went on watching Doc, as the older woman stooped down and investigated the very injuries she'd inflicted. Injuries which Aegle, for her complicity, could not begrudge the doctor for giving her. She winced and squirmed, uncomfortable as the familiar tingle of Doc's semblance mapped her myriad hurts, as intrusive as a finger sliding beneath her skin.
"Y'know what scares me the most?" She asked quietly, not for any real reason. Aegle might as easily have kept quiet, for all she hoped to gain by opening her mouth, but she just found the words coming out. A bit of transparency, a drop of honesty, but more than she was obliged to give.
"S'not bein' killed by some Grimm." She grimaced a grin, mirthless, joyless, sardonic and bleak. "Wasn't my choice t'freeze when that beowulf came for me. And, thinkin' back, I still dunno why it bothered me so bad. As frightenin' as they are, I don't dread 'em, y'know?"
Aegle giggled, joyless, "I mean, I do. But they ain't the most dreadful thing, yeah?"
To say she didn't dread fighting the Grimm would be a lie. Having fought them and seen them for what they were, there were few things so objectively frightening. Yet it was not the Grimm which haunted her dreams, nor the Grimm which made it hard for her to sleep. Aegle swallowed, fingers tightening into fists. Did she really wanna say it? What was even the point? Doc couldn't do anything about it, even if she were so inclined, so what difference did it make if Aegle told her or not? More than likely, it would just been some meaningless trivia which the doctor could never use, and would sharing it really make Aegle feel any better? She did not know, and there seemed but one way to find out.
"Y'right, I reckon. S'a world of difference between gettin' killed by some Grimm and dyin' in bed, and y'know what?" Aegle showed Doc her teeth. It wasn't a smile, it wasn't a scowl. Aegle wasn't sure what it was, wasn't sure what emotion it was meant to convey. Was helplessness an emotion?
"Nothin' scares me worse 'n dyin' in my sleep."
There was no lightening of her burden. No weight suddenly shifted from Aegle's crooked shoulders. She didn't feel any better, for having said it out loud. Oh well...
"I'm doin' this," Aegle told the Doc, carrying on in spite of everything, "All've this," She wave a hand at herself, a bandaged hand with bloody knuckles, "Knowin' it might kill me. But y'right. Doin' somethin' doomed t'fail... t'aint brave, yeah?"
Aegle slumped down suddenly, and her voice got really quiet. If Doc hadn't already been close, inspecting her injuries, more than likely she wouldn't have heard what the crooked girl said next.
"Ain't brave, doin' somethin' stupid, 'cause y'running from y'biggest fear."

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[Doctor Yuki Haragitanai]

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"Quit squirming around you little shit, before I decide to pull a hole through you with a blunt meat skewer. I'm kidding, I need that for lunch later today anyways." Doctor Haragitanai said with a half-smirk as she finished fixing up Aegle. It was about time to cut the tension out. A talk between a student and a professor needn't be filled with lectures and stern tones. Perhaps it was still the habit of calming down her patients when they seemed on edge or very somber. However, she blinked in surprise when Aegle decided to continue talking and decided to humor her. Least she was a bit more talkative than before. Perhaps it wasn't bad to take a day to play catch-up and see how things were going. Doctor Haragitanai continued to listen to Aegle as she talked about her experiences with the Beowolf.
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However, it was less about the Beowolf, and more about what Aegle said next that caught her interest. Hmm. "When I was just a little older than you, I had my first assignment as part of a first-relief aid unit. We were tasked with pulling out injured Huntsmen that got caught in a swarmed nest of Grimm. It was in a supposedly safe territory, but some careless sap decided not to go through with procedure and overlooked the area." Doctor Haragitanai looked away briefly before turning her attention back to Aegle, finding the right words. Was it necessary to disclose this type of personal information? Probably not, but she found that sharing more about herself helped a lot more than simply lecturing Aegle. Why not talk a bit more? It's not like it's incredibly private information anyways. "I'll never forget the first time that I was unable to save a life. Perhaps if I had been a bit faster, or worked a bit harder, I could have saved his life. There hasn't been a time where I don't wake up in a cold sweat, seeing his lifeless face and feeling how tightly his desperate grip was on my uniform."
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Doctor Haragitanai sighed as she folded her arms. "If I had to say, nothing scares me more than letting another patient die on my watch. I worry for you brats every day, hoping that you make it out alive, or at least breathing." Doctor Haragitanai recalled the white haired fool that had been confined to her infirmary for quite a while due to his mistakes. Fuckin' idiot. You're right. It's not brave or noble to get yourself killed. Death isn't something you should take lightly. You have people that care about you, and would be utterly devastated if they saw you come home in a body bag." Doctor Haragitanai slowly got up and began to stretch. Dying for a useless reason was stupid, even a child could understand that. The way that this conversation was going, it seemed like she was implying that what Aegle was doing was pretty much useless, right?
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Wrong. "That's why I gotta put you on the right path to solve your problem." Doctor Haragitanai said finally as she began to drink from her water bottle. "But it's not going to be easy, at least for you. You're not dumb, that much is obvious. You've thought this through and had to come to the conclusion to try and use our sessions as a chance to try and get over your fears. The problem is that you can't get over your fears properly this way. At least not within a reasonable amount of time-" Doctor Haragitanai cleared her throat before redirecting her attention at Aegle.
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"In any case, what I've noticed is that you've been cautious of others. Whether or not you're aware of it, you maintain your distance from others subconsciously and usually come to the worst case scenario first. While that's not always a bad thing, it'll be a problem for you in the long run considering that beyond the Academy, you'll need to be able to trust in your teammates. Being a Huntsman or Huntress isn't a one-man show. Learning to confide in others is a step towards building that foundation needed to overcome your fears. That's why, I'm going to be making you take a class with... Ugh.. Professor Van Sange." Doctor Haragitanai didn't hide her annoyance at the mention of his name but quickly looked back. "He has a class on emphasizing the importance of that. Don't come back until you take at least one class, then we'll continue under new conditions, sound good?"

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Word Count: 755

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Additional Notes: Deal or no deal?

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[Aegle Verdant]

Aegle felt pretty useless, listening to Doc talk. Pointless, even. She'd had a lot of time to think about who and what she was, about the various random events which had lead to the life she lived, and what the ultimate goal of that life ought to be. In all her wondering though, Aegle had never happened on a satisfactory answer. Even her brothers and her parents hadn't seemed to know what use any of it was. Or rather, they all had a different idea of what useful even was. For Aaron, it meant fighting for his kingdom and its people. For Vulcan, developing and maintaining its machines. Paeon, Aegle did not doubt, would pursue a career in medicine, just as soon as he graduated from Atlas. All of them would be 'useful'. All of them knew where they fit. All of them had something Aegle did not, and could never have.

Rising slowly, on trembling legs -Doc's semblance always left Aegle feeling a little shaky- the crooked girl eyed her unexpected benefactor and considered her ultimatum, with regards to Van Sange's classes. Doc had risen greatly in Aegle's estimation of the past couple of minutes. Despite everything she'd done, despite how she'd used the older woman, the battle ax still seemed intent on helping her out. Aegle neither understand nor explain it, though she thought Doc had given her a hint somewhere along the way.
'Nothin' scares y'more than the thought of watchin' another patient die?'
Aegle smiled. It wasn't a grin, not the crooked gash she usually wore like a ward against evil, but a smile, small and sad. Doctor Yuki Haragitanai still scared her, but she'd earned Aegle's respect and her sympathy.
"I'll take the class then. The next one he has." Aegle promised. She was still favoring the spot that Doc had punched, even though the injury no longer actually existed, still taking short breaths like she was worried it would hurt if she didn't, and she went on smiling that strange, sad smile which, so unlike her grins, neither masked nor concealed what lay beneath. Aegle was thinking about the people who would be sad when she died, and realized that number had gone up since she'd come to Haven.
"Hey Doc?" Aegle asked, tipping her head to the side, not taking her eyes off the imposing woman, "I'm gonna ask y'somethin', and it's alright if y'don't answer, but I'd like it if y'did."
She thought she saw the point of everything that Doc had said, the way she'd sort of danced around the point, around the heart of Aegle's confession.
'She's not surprised,' Aegle thought, 'She's not surprised at all, about my reason for comin' to Haven; My reason for becomin' a huntress.'
Some part of Aegle, more twisted even than her spine, thought perhaps Doc even understood those reasons.

Aegle looked up into Doc's face for a very long time, until she was able to see the woman behind the hard lines and viperous eyes. Until she could see someone who would be afraid of letting those under her care die, someone who would wake up in a cold sweat after dreaming about those she couldn't save. A woman who had tried and had failed, and would ever be haunted by those failures. A woman who had lived a life long enough to regret it.
It didn't happen all at once, but Aegle thought she caught a glimpse of that woman, somewhere behind Doc's sharp eyes and impatient expression, and she believed what Doc had said. And, absurdly, Aegle was jealous of her, of her demons, and her dreams. Of the memories and mistakes she'd made, and the failures which still haunted her, and would go on haunting her until the day she died. Would it be a meaningful death, Aegle wondered, or would she slip away, face lifeless, hand clutching the shirt of someone who just hadn't been quick enough.

That was the difference between the two of them. Doc had lived and she had lost and, gods willing, she'd live long enough to lose again. All she'd said, Aegle understood, was to urge her against a pointless death, but how could she understand, when she had not lived a pointless life? Death was not the only coinage Doc had, and when she did die, it would not be without leaving the world changed from how she'd found it. She'd the time to save lives, and not to save others; Her hand had brushed across fate's tapestry, stretched the limits of possibility, and, in some small way, shaped the course of history. She had mattered. Even now, she was mattering.

That was why what Aegle wanted to ask mattered so dearly. It would be the coda to a life worth living, the thesis to a meaningful existence. It would be the why of Doc's usefulness, of the point of her being.
"Why did y'become a huntress? Really?" And, in case Doc thought she could get away with one of the normal platitudes, Aegle added, "Y'said it y'self. Huntresses die. They die young."
Aegle tipped her head to the other side, still smiling, without waiting for Doc's answer, "D'ya know the life expectancy in Atlas? I reckon y'do. Eighty-five, or there abouts, innit? Vale and Mistral are much the same, or just a little lower. S'lower in Vacuo too, seventy in the built up areas, if I remember right, low as sixty elsewhere..."
What it said about Aegle, knowing such details off the top of her head, went well beyond morbid or macabre.
"What's the average life span of a huntsman, yeah? S'around thirty five innit?" Aegle's eyes glittered, "Sure, some live longer. A lot longer even, some even retire. Most don't though, do they? And even though a fair chunk make it to their forties, the numbers are skewed, ain't they? By them what died in their twenties, some right after graduating."
Aegle had been surprised when she'd first learned that, just how dangerous the first few years of a huntsman's career were.
"And that's not even countin' those who die in training."

It was all matter of fact. Aegle's grasp of the specifics was not perfect, and the numbers were even further skewed by less developed territories, such as Menagerie and Vacuo, dragging the other kingdoms down. On the whole, however, she wasn't far from the truth. It was dangerous being a Huntress. Even becoming a Huntress was dangerous; Students had been known to die during Vale's mid-terms, and Cadets went missing every year during the trials in Atlas. Which all begged the question.
"Y'not dumb; It's actually kinda scary how sharp y'are. S'hard t'believe y'weren't always keen as a razor, y'know? So I gotta wonder why you did it. Why did y'become a huntress? Was it arrogance? Did y'reckon y'wouldn't die like so many others? Was it duty? Y'have a powerful semblance, perfect for helpin' people. Did y'lose someone, something? Why, of all the things y'could have been, did y'choose the one thing almost certain t'make sure ya die young? Because, Doc, I gotta tell ya..." Aegle's twinkling eyes grew cloudy, her voice trailed off as the lump in her throat swell beyond all hopes of being ignored.
Swallowing, voice cracking, Aegle made herself continue, "I gotta tell ya, Doc, it seems like y'would need t'be mad or stupid, t'wanna do what you do. And anyone can see y'ain't stupid. I know why I'm here, Doc, but you were here too, and not long ago. Why? Why do this to yourself? S'gotta be a reason for it. S'gotta..."

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[Doctor Yuki Haragitanai]

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Doc gave a thumbs up. Least the brat was willing to take on the class, even if it was being taught by the one man that she loathed. The man was good at what he did, and hopefully she would leave with something useful when she resumed training. Though her expression changed caught Doctor Haragitanai off-guard briefly, which showed in her own expression as her eyes widened in surprise. Heh, so even she could make a face like that. She turned to Aegle and nodded when she told the Doctor that she had a question. Doctor Haragitanai simply stared at her as Aegle tilted her head and maintained eye contact. 'What's with this girl sometimes?' Doctor Haragitanai thought to herself as she continued to play the staring game for some time.
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Was she trying to read her? Muster the courage to spit out what was on her mind? Maybe she was reflecting on her life's choices that lead her to this point. Bah, Doctor Haragitanai had some idea of what the girl was thinking, but she simply stayed quiet and waited for her to let it out. Chances are, it probably had something to do with her, and given the nature of their conversation, the Doctor figured that Aegle tended to respond better to those who were honest about themselves and were willing to open up. Combat caution with honesty, and you'll find what you're looking for. Her expression continued to remain unchanged during the brief exchange of look between the two until finally...
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'Why did y'become a huntress? Really? Y'said it y'self. Huntresses die. They die young.'
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As quickly as the words tumbled out of her mouth, Aegle quickly steered into a rant about the life expectancy of various geographical locations. Morbid, sure, though it's not like it was taboo to know these numbers. If anything, it's a reminder of just how fragile and precious life could be. People can break easily; it doesn't take a whole lot to snuff out a life. Despite that, people continue to push onward and persevere. Why do people voluntarily put themselves in harms way? To protect the ones they love? A sense of duty? Whatever the reasons, people learn to adapt, to change, and to better themselves. The results show for themselves: While there are countless others who have died, fighting for their own reasons, there are plenty of those who live well beyond the life expectancy. They're living, breathing examples of the possibility of a future where Grimm can be triumphed over.
[break]
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"You know, you're the only student that I've ever met whose fixated on numbers like that." Doctor Haragitanai rubbed her head as she pondered over what Aegle was rambling about. Suddenly, she burst into a fit of low chuckles as she gazed at Aegle, whose confused expression and weak demeanor made it all the more amusing. "Seemed like you answered the question yourself, don't you think? If I'm not dumb, I must be pretty fuckin' crazy to be in a profession like this." Doctor Haragitanai said as she shifted her weight to one side. Standing around wasn't exactly the number one thing she wanted to do now, but the situation calls for it. "Miss Verdant, you'll come to learn sooner than later during your time as a Huntress in training that there are plenty of batshit crazy people out there. Hell, you've probably already seen it yourself. The fact of the matter is, life is a series of chaotic disturbances with energy travelling in all directions, occasionally bumping in each other."
[break]
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Doctor Haragitanai's expression changed into that of reminiscence, briefly recalling her own experiences as a Huntress for a time as she tried to form her response to Aegle's question. In all honesty, her suggestions and guesses for her reason amused her in a way. "Unfortunately, none of the above. You're right though. With a Semblance that manifested like mine, it would be a no-brainer to study in a regular university, get a degree, and open shop as a regular physician for civilians, yeah?" Doctor Haragitanai bobbed her head side-to-side, as if she was pondering on whether or not to proceed with what she was going to say. "If I told you the reason why I became a Huntress, would it devalue your own reasons for being here? Would it spur you on even more to become the person that you envisioned all those years in your hospital bed? Would it fill you with disappointment if my respond didn't meet your expectations?" Doctor Haragitanai let out a low chuckle. "I've lost a lot of things. Arguably, a lot more than I gained in return." She added with a hint of bitterness as a sad smile etched across her face. "If you're looking for an inspirational reason for why I became a Huntress, sad to say that life isn't exactly a fairy tale where people have a noble or outlandish reason for entering a profession that shortens your life expectancy by a metric fuckton. Though since you asked kindly, I'll put it in simple terms: There's a role for everybody, somewhere. Mine just so happens to be saving lives on the battlefield, and not from within an office. If not me, someone else would be in my place. Simple as that."
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Was that the right response to give to someone like Aegle? Perhaps she was seeking a reason to validate herself. Perhaps a curiosity to figure out just what does it take to become someone whose willing to throw their lives away for someone who would probably forget their name within a few years. "What does it mean to be Huntress? That's the question you should be asking yourself. Rather than ask 'why do you do this to yourself,' ask instead 'what do you do that nobody else can?' You severely underestimate your own abilities, Miss Verdant. Being a Huntress doesn't mean being unafraid of what lies in the unknown, it's about facing the unknown and moving onward despite the overwhelming fear." Doctor Haragitanai let out a deep sigh as she stretched a bit. Normally she'd only talk this much during meetings with other professors, though it isn't to say that this conversation was unpleasant. At the very least, if it meant helping push a student towards becoming a better person, then so be it. "Alright, brat. Breaktime is over, let me see you put those hands up and give it your all, or I'm gonna rearrange your teeth placement." She said with a flash of a grin and a lowered posture.

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Word Count: 1092

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Additional Notes: tl;dr - Not every choice has to be a significant turning point. Not every choice is always the most rational one.

[attr="class","dangercredits"]cyan of pixel perfect

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[Aegle Verdant]

"M'not lookin' for just any reason, inspirational or elsewise..." Aegle said finally, after listening to Doc's words. She made no move to adopt a fighting pose, and instead only looked at the doctor searchingly.
"I'm askin' for your reason. And if y'think that's cause I wanna steal it from you, that I wanna make it my own," She spread her hands out, and showed a few more teeth in her sad smile, "What'd even be the point of that? You and I don't have anythin' in common. Me usin' your reasons would make 'bout as much sense and you usin' my brace."
It had been a very long time since she'd been so candid with anyone, and the fact that Doc hadn't been candid back upset her a little. She supposed she understood why though. Doc was an educator, and she'd already stated her earnest intentions to try and protect the students under her care. Students, such as Aegle. So she couldn't just give an honest answer, free of pretense, she had to make sure it was the right answer first. As if there was such thing as a right answer.
Aegle wished she hadn't done, but she understood why she had.
"Y'don't wanna ruin me," She observed, "You've seen the way I think and y'worried that, if y'go puttin' ideas in my head, I might do something crazy or stupid with 'em." It seemed pointless to beat around the bush on the subject, not when Aegle had already admitted so much to the doctor that she'd never admitted to anyone else.
"S'gotta be hard," Thought Aegle, aloud, as she looked down at Doc's fist, "Weighin' every word y'say, worryin' 'bout what they might make me do. I dinnae why y'so concerned though, you've got t'know as well as I do that y'can't make me much worse..."
'What's one bad decision matter? What's one less year, or even two. What difference does it make, if I take your reasons, and do something stupid with them?'
"Y'say that, if y'weren't here, someone else would be. I reckon that's true enough, but I wasn't askin' why someone was here. I was askin' why you are."

She looked at Doc's fists, then looked down at her own. She didn't have to do this. She didn't have to do any of it. She didn't have to be here, at Haven, feeling scared and hating herself, and contriving reasons for the faculty to beat her up. She didn't have to wake up at five in the morning and practice forms and punch a heavy bag, till she was nearly too weak to stand. She didn't have to take classes she didn't like, to learn skills she'd never have the chance to use. She didn't have to train again every day, so long and so hard that, every night, she went to bed sore and late. She didn't have to be a huntress, she didn't even have to try to be one.
"And if you're only here because someone had t'be, because it was as soon you as someone else, what does that tell me, y'reckon?" Aegle realized she didn't want to fight Doc, didn't want to be punched and hurt, that she didn't want to fight the Grimm, didn't want to be scared and useless. She realized how unhappy she was, not just with Doc's answer, but with everything. With her choices and her actions and all the other things she'd left Atlas to escape. She grinned and lowered her head, and scrubbed at her eyes with one infuriatingly trembling hand.
"I reckon it tells me it's all meaningless, s'all chaos and random chance, that none of it matters. It means there ain't no meanin' to bein' a huntress, and that there ain't nothin' I can do what no one else could. After all, if I weren't here, someone else would be, innit that right, Doc?"
She lifted her head, emerald eyes glistening, with a grin slashing her bone white face.
"Guess I should've warned ya," She tittered, "I'm crazy, y'know? Always askin' weird questions, and sayin' weird things."
Aegle moved past the doctor and went for her duffle bag instead, each step taken on shaky legs. She'd decided she was done fighting for today. Maybe tomorrow, or maybe after Van Sange's class, she'd be ready to try again, but not now. For today, she was done doing meaningless things.
"Y'know," Aegle grunted, as she hauled up her duffel bag, "I think we ought'a get one thing clear." she looked back, face in profile, eye still sparkling wet, and her grin just as wide.
"Even if I pass all my classes, make it through all the trials. Even if I somehow manage with everything the Academy wants of me, let's not kid each other, yeah? We both know I won't ever be a huntress. Let's stop pretendin' otherwise, aye?"
'Sixteen and five. Aegle thought, not waiting for a reply, 'Twenty and one... Meaningless.' as she fled from Doc, and all of her right answers.

words - 842

[Doctor Yuki Haragitanai]

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Well, damn. One of the first mistakes that Aegle decided to make was to reject Doctor Haragitanai's continuation of the exercise. Quite frankly, that really pissed her off. However, Aegle did have a point that Doctor Haragitanai failed to realize. Of course they were different people. They had different goals, different aspirations, and different experiences. The problem was that Doctor Haragitanai made the mistake of assuming that Aegle was searching for a goal to latch onto. It was a force of habit, one that she quickly realized was the wrong choice in this situation, and by the looks of it, the damage had been done. Damnit, just when things were going well. Doctor Haragitanai's half grin slowly recessed into a prim, slight frown as she watched Aegle start to walk away from her and go for her duffel bag.
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Well, it's not like she hadn't anticipated it. While their interactions were sparse and their conversations were even sparser, today could have been considered a miracle by most standards. However, this sour-note ending didn't give Doctor Haragitanai any satisfaction. Not at the slightest. If anything, it felt like they had taken two steps forward, and three steps back by the looks of it. Doctor Haragitanai could sense it: disappointment and perhaps a bit of contrived apprehension towards her. After all, it was her fault for making assumptions that Aegle was looking for another goal to strive for. The problem was, even Doctor Haragitanai was hesitant on telling her the whole truth of her purpose, being here at the Academy.
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would she resent her for saying it out loud? Her reasons were far from ethical, and in the grand scheme of things, very insignificant. Regardless, Aegle had placed trust in her, even if a little bit, and Doctor Haragitanai had responded with ambiguity. She gave her a half-assed response that was extremely uncharacteristic of herself. It hadn't been her intention to make Aegle think that she was being cautious about how she would influence her, but lo and behold, she instinctively drove the conversation into a direction where it couldn't continue from in order to prevent them from entering dangerous territory.
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Was it unfair that Doctor Haragitanai got out of this exchange with a lot more than Aegle did? Perhaps. Her gaze fell towards the ground as Aegle walked past her and began to talk. Did she fail in her ability to help someone else again? It might have been a dramatic stretch, but with how fragile people are, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Following that thought, an unpleasant wave of images began to flash in her mind. Several of which she would rather not want to see now, if ever. With her hands balling into fists and her teeth clenching together, Doctor Haragitanai shook her head looked away in disgust before returning her gaze back to Aegle.
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"Even if I pass all my classes, make it through all the trials. Even if I somehow manage with everything the Academy wants of me, let's not kid each other, yeah? We both know I won't ever be a huntress. Let's stop pretendin' otherwise, aye?"

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Ghh- That was the last thing that Doctor Haragitanai wanted Aegle to think to get out of this entire exchange. Call it a sense of pride, or a sense of desperation, but as she turned, prepared to sprint out of the training room as fast as her legs could carry her, Aegle would feel a firm grip on her shoulder with Doctor Haragitanai glaring at her with her fierce, piercing eyes. Bold of her to assume that she could outrun not only a faculty member of Haven, but a former Huntress like her that had to put her training into speed and strength. Despite the incredibly intimidating aura that radiated out from her, the silence that filled the momentary gap between Aegle was more awkward than anything. After several seconds of silence, she opened her mouth and spoke up. "Finish the class and don't be late for training... I'll give you my honest answer next time, alright?" Doctor Haragitanai said before she let go of her shoulder and turned to the training room to clean up.
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Perhaps it was a bad idea, telling her that. What was there to gain from it? Aegle seemed dead set on deciding that regardless of the outcome, she'd never become what she aspired to become. However, the fact of the matter is that her statement deeply troubled Doctor Haragitanai because at one point, she too had that exact same thought. With a skill like hers, she was an easy target while studying to become a Huntress. At some point, the consistent harassment got to her, and at some point, she began to doubt herself. Perhaps that's why she grabbed Aegle, to dissuade her from that line of thinking? Or perhaps out of fear. Fear of reminding her the things that still haunt the back of her mind.
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Doctor Haragitanai reached into her bag and drew a pack of cigarettes as well as an old, barely functioning lighter as she left the training area. Fuck she needed a smoke.

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Word Count: 858

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Additional Notes: ...

[attr="class","dangercredits"]cyan of pixel perfect

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[N o v a k i d]

XP Distribution: Current XP + Earned XP = New Total XP

Aegle: 134 + 58 = 192 XP

Doc: 0 XP + 59 XP = 59 XP

SPOILER: Click to show

Word Count:

Aegle - 809, 935, 1314, 669, 1271, 842 = 5840

Doc - 1073, 713, 1428, 755, 1092, 858 = 5919