[Deleted]

Sitting down on the couch of the forge resting room, Ryan let out a sigh as the cool-ish air of the room washed over him. As soon as Ryan arrived in Haven, he tried to convince the staff to let him use the Academy forge for other things than maintaining his weapon. Mainly to practice his blacksmithing. And, after a little back and forth, they told him that if he wanted to use the Academy's forge to practice he at least needed to make something useful out of the materials he was going to use.

So right now he was making some dulled swords to replace the older ones in Haven's storage. His swords were by no means cutting edge or a masterwork, but they were far better than some of the rusty pieces of crap that were sitting in storage. But Ryan could understand why they hadn't been replaced, as the Academy's staff has better things to worry about than replacing equipment that would be barely used by the students.

He had been practicing for a couple hours and now the accumulated heat on his body had finally been too much to bear. The resting room, as he called it, was simply a buffer room between the forge and the rest of the Academy where people could rest lower their temperature before going out again. And that's exactly what he was doing now.

Taking out his sweat-drenched shirt (he wasn't using the upper part of his suit), he took a nearby towel and dried his torso before fully leaning back in the couch. His hand slowly drifted to the ugly and protruding scar that ran diagonally downwards through his toned chest, a benefit of his spartan uprising, and to his side. Slowly tracing it with a grimace, he couldn't help but be angry with himself. If he just had been more careful that day. If he had just paid more attention he wouldn't have gotten this damn reminder of how he failed to the only person that ever believed on him.

With a dragged out sigh, he dropped his head while closing his eyes. He was glad that right now no one would bother him in the forge. People already barely used it, that's why he had no problems with being shirtless, but besides he had locked the door so if someone even did want to use the forge he would have time to get dressed again.

Wait, he did lock the door, right? Uh, whatever. It's not like someone would come after all.

---

Word Count: 425
Total Count: 425

[Holly Hock]

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[attr="class","RDcontainer"] [attr="class","RDcontent"] Weapon maintenance was kind of a foreign concept to Holly. The weapon that she was familiar with was a glorified wood cutting tool. Living next to a giant jungle made her use the weapon before she had unlocked and mastered her semblance to not get tangled up into vines or other plants. One thing let to another, and she eventually started to use it as a weapon itself. There weren't that many options for weapons, let alone something that was mechanical in nature. Perhaps she could have used a sword, or a spear? Her father had used a spear, or at least he said he did, but poking things wasn't really all that fun when Holly tried. You just stab, retreat, stab, retreat, stab, victory. With her woodcutter she could slash, retreat, slash, retreat, rips some Grimm's face off, victory. Variety is the spice of life after all.[break] [break] But maintaining the damn thing? There wasn't really a use for it. The island literally had dozens of them just laying around. Old lady Tala was one of the other people who also lived close to the jungle, and her husband bought like a crate of them from one of the few rare traders that just so happened to visit the island. Holly only heard the tales, because it happened before she was born, but she understood the purchase as a plan to start cutting down the trees one by one till there wasn't a jungle left. Nobody wanted to help, because everyone knows going into the jungle is a death wish. The poor soul tried, and was eating on day 5 when a Grimm ambushed him as he was cutting down a tree. Leaving poor Tala a widow. Also, the owner of a crate filled with the tools that indirectly killed her husband. Holly was given them all after helping clean her house when she was like fifteen. Not the best gift to give to a teen, but she only almost cut of her fingers twice before her father showed how to use them.[break] [break] She is on number 6 right now.[break] [break] There was Cutter, Cutter II, Slasher, Ripper, Ripper II, and her current one Slicer.[break] [break] When she travelled to Haven, Holly took with her four other copies of the woodcutting tool, but she needed to make sure the blades were sharpened and all of the 'thingies' inside were working. Holly was horrible with anything mechanical, but she knew how her own weapon worked at least. The forge was the place she needed to be, so she made the walk over there carrying a small box of her weapon collection. When she arrived at the door she believed she needed to be, Holy was distraught when she found that the door was locked when she tried to open it. Someone must be working on something, huh? No matter, Holly can wait! The girl leisurely walked over towards the nearest bench, placed the box next to her, and got out her scroll to watch something on her scroll. Whoever was working would most likely not take long, and Holly was already done with other tasks for the day. She had patience.[break] [break] Two hours and 5 episodes of 'Law & Love' later[break] [break] "...but the man I always loved, who was arrested for a murder he did not commit, was actually your brother this whole time!" Credits roll[break] [break] Holly was laying sprawled on the bench at this moment, not even attentively looking at the screen at the moment. Was this person making an entire armory inside? Were they burning marshmallows above the forge? Whatever it is, Holly was certain that she waited way longer than she could have before storming in. She had to watch the full emotional arc of Jade Jahira as she was framed for theft, but then found innocent, after which caught the real thief, who was also a murderer, and in the end turned out to be the long-lost brother of her partner. She honestly didn't like the show, but after watching two seasons of it she would find it wasted time if she did not watch the other six seasons. Still, she honestly needed to get these weapons done today. A more forceful way was required. She had to channel her inner Jade Jahira. She always could get into houses she wasn't supposed to go into with some assertive action. Perhaps it would work here?[break] [break] Holly walked over towards the door with conviction, balled her hand into a fist of righteousness, before she pounded on the door with the full force of the law. One, two, three. Afterwards she shouted near the door gap, making sure to lower her voice just like Jade spoke in the show. That always had effect. "I am done done with waiting! Open this door right this instant before I kick it down! This is a public forge, and I have the right to use it. Don't make me repeat myself! I AM THE LAW!" You are not the law, Holly, the world is better off if you are not the law.[break] [break]

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[attr="class","RDwortag"] Words: 846, Thread Total: 846	[attr="class","RDwortag"] Aura: 100%
[attr="class","RDnotes"] Semblance: E, Slicer: F, Survival: F, Gardening: F, Martial Arts: F, Healing: F, Acrobatics: F.

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[Deleted]

In the end, it seems that someone just had to come. And it had to be when he finally managed to fall asleep! Opening his slightly bloodshot eyes after the pounding of the door and whatever the fuck the other person said, he put on his glasses and stood up. It had to be a goddamn bad taste joke that just when he wants to take a short nap other fucking person has to come and disturb him! No one in the damn Academy used the forge that much. And yet someone had to do it right now!?

As you may guess right now, Ryan doesn't wake up with the most amiable of moods. Even less when someone else wakes him up. And so, in a semi-lucid, pissed off state he set sail to give the poor bastard who came to disturb him a piece of his mind.... a piece of his written mind. But as soon as he took off the door's lock and threw it open, his dark green eyes clashed with a magenta pair he had drawn uncountable times. And soon after, an even colder breeze passed through his chest. His bare chest.

Waking up in an instant thanks to the cool air. He realized what he had done a tad too late. And now, in a panicking state that made all of the panic attacks he had suffered pale, he blushed a deep crimson as he froze in place.

Well, this may as well still be a dream right? A hell of a weird-ass dream, but, hopefully, a dream. Right? Right?!

---

Word Count: 265
Total Count: 700

[Holly Hock]

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[attr="class","RDcontainer"] [attr="class","RDcontent"] Holly had no idea of the unspoken frustration that took place behind the door till she looked it in the face. Ryan, sweet gentle Ryan. Artist, visionary, hater of the spoken word. Here, in the flesh, right in front of me. With an open shirt. Why was he... [break] [break] Holly stopped her internal monologue as she focused on that usually covered place on Ryan's body. While a common girl might comment on how the scar accentuated that 'killer bod', or not even press the issue all together to do something as silly as blush, Holly looked concerned. [break] [break] She looked worried, for someone else no less.[break] [break] Her earlier game inside of her head was already lost to her. Poof. Both her face and eyes showed concern for Ryan. No time for weird shows and other such things. She had seen scars before, certainly. Her father had one, some of her classmates had them. That all didn't mattered. It mattered that Ryan had a scar, that he was hurt at one point of his life. Enough to give him this lasting mark of it. Not all pain mattered the same in the mind of Holly. Someone she didn't knew could have lost an arm, and she wouldn't care. Someone she regards as her boyfriend had a scar of a distant trauma, and it would be the most important questions of her life right now.[break] [break] Did they still feel it? Do they want to talk about it? What caused you this pain?[break] [break] The most important one: What can I do, at this moment, to help you?[break] [break] Still, Ryan couldn't tell Holly anything with his book. And he couldn't tell anything if he was standing here having one of his episodes. Most likely he didn't wanted to tell anything at all. Holly needed to respect that, but she also needed to take action. To make him more comfortable. No matter if he wanted to talk now or later, she didn't wanted to see him embarrassed and frozen stiff. She wanted to see him happy. The only other person that had genuinely made her happy. She needed him to be here to be happy. Because...if the one person that made her feel wanted in Haven wasn't content, how could she be happy knowing that? [break] [break] Holly said nothing as her hands moved forward towards Ryan's chest. Not to touch the scar, or marvel at his glorious abs. She made the attempt to fastened one button of Ryan's shirt. Enough to hide the scar somewhat from view. If she did more than one button, he would most likely have enough time to process what happened and respond by recoiling, or even running away. So...one button was enough. Enough to hide his privacy, and the story, if he didn't wanted to tell that yet. If Holly failed with buttoning up Ryan because he stirred or prevented it, Holly would still say the following line. Her voice would echo the concern in her heart. What was once lifeless was filled with worry. After saying this, Holly would attempt to accompany Ryan gently inside, holding him by his shoulders till they reached the couch in the waiting room. Slow and easy. "Let's go inside. It is just me, Holly Hock. We don't need to talk if you don't want to, but I don't want to leave you alone right now. I don't want you to freak out without me, or something like that. That is what I am supposed to do, am I not?" [break] [break] She still thought that she was already his girlfriend, and that this was how she needed to express that.[break] [break]

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[attr="class","RDwortag"] Words: 602, Thread Total: 1448	[attr="class","RDwortag"] Aura: 100%
[attr="class","RDnotes"] Semblance: E, Slicer: F, Survival: F, Gardening: F, Martial Arts: F, Healing: F, Acrobatics: F.

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[Deleted]

Even in his state, his mind had processed the hand approaching his chest. And yet, nothing, absolutely nothing, was ordered to make it stop. And as she buttoned up his shirt, the word that seemed to always appear when she was around popped once again into his head.

Why?

Why was he allowing her to do it? Why did his face felt so damn warm? Why... Why somewhere deep down he felt like this was something good? Well, if he had the answers he wouldn't be making the damn questions in the first place, would he?

Anyways, once she was done with buttoning his button, her hands raised up with the intent of grasping something. And it was here when Ryan's instincts finally kicked in. Gently, yet firmly, he grasped her wrists to stop her. He was about to send her away to be alone, but then... she spoke. And the words struck him hard. When had been the last time someone, besides Aarden, had worried about him? Due to this, he lowered her hands, his own still holding her wrists, as he pondered what to do next.

But while his mind pondered, his body acted. Slowly, he backpedalled into the room with Holly's wrists still grasped on his hands. After a couple seconds of standing just there, he finally let go of them and closed the door that had been open ajar. It was then, and only then, that his mind realized what the fuck had happened.

"Just tell her the story," Aarden gave an idea. "You're supposed to be friends. Friends entrust each other this sort of stuff. She already saw it. No point in trying to hide it."

"I don't know, Aarden. That story is..."

"Ryan. Do it. If you want it to happen she needs to know that you trust her."

"Aarden, my fucking god, what do you fucking mean? I want what to happen? I've only known her for a couple days at best, for fuck's sake."

"Fucking. do. it. It'll help you greatly down the road."

With a shake of his head, Ryan gave up. But it was out of his own volition, as he realized that it was better to talk about it now before it turned into an issue later. Walking towards the coffee table in front of the couch, he grabbed his notebook and scribbled down before giving the open notebook to Holly.

On it, it read:

"I was in a training exercise with my brother years ago. After some time we ended up being sorrounded by Grimm, Creeps, and he was badly wounded. I got this scar after defending him for a while before we could escape."

There it was. He may not be the best storyteller out there but he had done it now.

---

WC: 465
TC:1165

[Holly Hock]

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[attr="class","RDcontainer"] [attr="class","RDcontent"] Holly was slightly startled when Ryan took hold of her wrist. She trusted her boyfriend of course, but she was still on guard as another person took hold of her. It didn't hurt, and Holly was quite certain it wasn't meant in a sexy kind of wrist holding, so she was just going to wait for Ryan to make his next move.[break] [break] Ryan seemed to lead Holly into the forge. Her doubt seemed to recede a little bit as Ryan did let go of her body. The girl rubbed her wrists after being released. They didn't hurt, but they were slightly uncomfortable. The girl looked at Ryan, seeming to want an explanation of his actions. Knowing that it wasn't going to be a verbal apology, she simply waited. Ryan would most likely have his book with him, so she waited patiently on him to get it to explain why he just did that. It was still up to Ryan if he wanted to talk about the scar or not, but his prior action was not something Holly seemed to be all that alright with. [break] [break] As it became clear that Ryan was walking over to the coffee table, Holly followed with some reluctance. She was well aware that she had left her box with weapons outside the forge. Still, the box was labeled with a "Return to Holly Hock", so people knew it was hers. When she was handed the notebook, Holly read it silently. It took her some time to get the whole message in her head. She seemed to be somewhat disappointed that there was no word in it about his behaviour a moment ago, the girl seemed to be sympathetic enough after knowing what she just read. [break] [break] Holly thought for a moment, before she had decided the next course of action. Holly walked over towards the couch, sat down on one side of it, before she patted the fabric of the seat next to hers. Holly placed the book on her lap, looking at the words a moment longer before she spoke. She started talking before Ryan could sit down, so the words would be said regardless of Ryan's choice to sit next to Holly. Her eyes were fixed on the table before her, to make sure that Ryan would not be made more uncertain than he already was She was well aware that he could be a bit uncomfortable around Holly. Of course, she knew that. She just thought that he was still not fully accepting that they were a couple. That he thought he couldn't handle such a great gal like herself. Her voice sounded sympathetic, her feelings for Ryan seeming to overrule her basic tone of speaking.[break] [break] "I didn't want to see things that you weren't ready to share. I will not say sorry, because I did nothing wrong, but I do want you to know that I will keep this to myself, if that helps you." Holly let out a sigh, before her gaze did turn towards Ryan. "I will not force you into writing anything more, and I will step out that door if that is what you truly want. Still, if you want me to be here, I will stay. We can talk about Aarden, or we can just sit silently on this couch."[break] [break] The girl looked emotionally drained for a moment. Speaking from your heart is tiresome. Was it weird that she was getting more emotional about this than Ryan? She hadn't been all that honest with her feelings since the Midterms to Kishka, and it wasn't something that she could do often. She didn't know most people, nor did she think that a lot of people liked her. She was still the weird plant-girl to so many people. Of course, the Gardenin Club was fun, and she had met enough people who she counted as friends in the loose sense of the word. Still, with the exception of maybe Kishka, Ryan was the only person with who she was a 100% comfortable enough talking about her feeling in any deep sense. No, that was wrong. Holly could talk with anyone about her feelings. Ryan and Kishka were the only people she knew that actually cared about Holly on some level beyond the mundane caring for your fellow classmates. They were the two people she kind of expected to go out of their way to cheer Holly up, or listen to her and actually care. Other people might listen, might try to be nice, but Holly didn't know if they actually gave a crap. If they actually wanted to help her, or just get her to stop being a nuisance in her life. She had her family back home, here she had just two people. Two people who she couldn't loose, because without them...she would have truly nothing. Therefore, she needed to make sure that Ryan still wanted to be around her. Hold on to him with a firm embrace, no matter the cost. No matter if she needed to endure him grasping her wrists. No matter if she needed to endure having one-sided conversations. No matter if she needed to do things she didn't wanted to do. Even a nightmare is better than the void of nothing. Of being in Haven without a single soul giving a damn about you. [break] [break] Holly expressed all of her thoughts in a few tears that started to fall from the side of her eyes. Something that she didn't have any control over. Having noticed this, Holly wanted to be certain that Ryan got the message clearly. That he didn't thought that he had hurt her, or that she was being sad for the wrong reason. Her voice broke slightly, but she was still easily understandable otherwise. "I just...don't want you to suffer in silence, alone. I haven't felt your grief, but it makes me sad to see you in this pain. To not discuss something so dear to you. Again, I will not force you to do anything...but... let me do something to help you, no matter what it is." [break] [break] It wasn't even phrased like a question. It was almost a blank check put into words. Her teary looked at Ryan, almost begging the boy to let Holly do something. For weeks, she had sat quietly next to Ryan in class, during their shared breakfast. She had allowed him to come to Holly for help before, but he was never ready, it seemed. Many times, she had just written notes on how to tell him that he could always write with her, but she never actually gave him any of them. Writing wasn't her way of dealing with a problem, and while she had allowed Ryan to do so without ever giving a hint of her absolutely hating it, she would do a lot just to hear that voice. She wanted to hear the man she could very well love. It did something to Holly, to know that someone who you cared for was suffering and that he didn't said a word about that. That he acted like he was fine, while he was not. She knew it. You don't spend so much time with someone without knowing it. You can try to hide it, you can try to act like it didn't happen. It hurt to be around Ryan at times knowing this, but again...that hurt was so much better than the hurt of not having him in her life at all.[break] [break]

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[attr="class","RDwortag"] Words: 1249, Thread Total: 2697	[attr="class","RDwortag"] Aura: 100%
[attr="class","RDnotes"] Semblance: E, Slicer: F, Survival: F, Gardening: F, Martial Arts: F, Healing: F, Acrobatics: F.

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[Deleted]

No. Please no. Not again. Please no no please no. Please, not her. Why her. Why why why why, oh dear gods, why?! Why it had to always come down to this.

The moment his eyes witnessed the tears escaping from hers, everything that had transpired in the room just a few minutes ago disappeared from his mind. Except for her tears and last words. It seems... It seems that no matter what he does, people around him always will end up getting hurt in any way. No matter what he did. No matter what they still got hurt. Be it physically or emotionally. Why, why had this to happen? For fuck's sake why?! WHY?!

Slowly backing away from Holly, his escape was cut short once his back collided against the wall. Fuck. He couldn't leave even if he wanted though. He already caused her enough pain. If he left now... how would she feel. What would that mean for their friendship... What would it mean to her... But whatever it may be... he needs to make her stop crying. He just can't bear her to look like that. It just feels wrong... and even horrible in his heart since he knew he was the cause of those tears. But how could he make her stop... how... touching was out of the question, so how could he?

But, like always, Ryan's body acted on its own before his consciousness could stop it. But once his consciousness gained awareness of what had happened, it didn't mind. His oath had been a selfish act imparted upon himself. He had used it to try to hide from himself all of those memories about his brother. He had tried... and yet, when it failed months ago he still kept it. Even though he knew that he would disappoint Aarden immersively if he ever knew he had done such an act. Slowly walking backwards, away from the very girl to whom he had caused such grief, Ryan found his escape cut short when his back collided against the wall. With no strenght left to hold his body, Ryan slowly slid down the wall until he ended up in a sitting position as a couple rebel tears of his own escaped his eyes

And so, in that position, the seal finaly broke and he spoke. Real, spoken words passed his quivering lips as more rebel tears left his eyes. His once melodic voice was turned into a deep, gruffing mess by the months of disuse. And yet, you could feel the underlying pain, sadness, regret, and self-hate that his tone carried as he spoke. And so, he spoke, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Please..." He spoke as more tears left his eyes to accompany the first rebels one. "Don't cry. Please don't cry. You're... you're the last person I want to see like this.... please... don't cry. I'm sorry for the way I've treated you... But please, don't cry."

He was fully responsible for this mess. And he would have to make it right. Right now, he didn't care about throwing away his stupid and selfish oath. He needed to make her feel alright.

---

WC: 532
TWC: 1,697

[Holly Hock]

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[attr="class","RDcontainer"] [attr="class","RDcontent"] Holly was content to just remain silently weeping for a while as Ryan fled out of the door. The girl was still sitting on the couch, letting her tears roll over her face and down on her lap. She wasn't content, not at all. She was sad, she was hurt. What kind of girlfriend would be happy if her boyfriend was not? That would be horrible. A pang of guilt came to Holly now. It didn't mattered all that much that she was sad. But she could bear that burden. But, would Ryan now become sad too? The pink haired girl looked up at Ryan, and a further wave of regret flooded over her. She heard Ryan move away from her already. She had made him distressed again. He would become skitish again, and he will walk out that door. Flee out the door. He...He almost always did such things, did he not? Run when things got hard. Run when Holly made things hard for him. Run when she tried to show her feelings. [break] [break] Ow no...she did it again.[break] [break] Holly had so many feelings! Love, joy, everything! But Ryan wasn't that good with feeling. He got scared of them, maybe. It made discussing deep things difficult...and it was already very difficult with only one person being able to talk. Holly had no problem with talking about her feeling. Other people weren't like that. She discovered that quickly enough, so she just didn't talked about them with Ryan all that much soon after they met. Or...or with anyone. Talking isn't the problem. Most people just didn't seemed to really want to listen. Maybe Kishka would listen, but Holly didn't wanted to have her bear the brunt of all those Holly Feelings. She already endured some of it during the forest. No, that was enough. These were Holly's feelings for Ryan. They belonged to only her and him. So, because Ryan couldn't deal with them...it fell down to Holly to keep them to herself. And now she had dropped all of that on Ryan... Selfish stupid bitch. You know that Ryan doesn't like talking about it! You make him upset with your feelings! Of course you only try to help him, but you also know that telling your heart out will not help him! Hopefully he will calm down again and write a note or something. Saying that he is sorry for running out. Holly would not even be all that mad when she got those letters. It showed that he cared about her. Even if he could never say it to her face. [break] [break] But then...something unexpected happened.[break] [break] Holly had thought she had heard Ryan's scroll at first. Her eyes were cast downward when Ryan began speaking thanks to the feeling that she caused him distress again. Or maybe someone speaking from the door, hearing her cry or something like that. She expected many different things.[break] [break] Holly didn't expected Ryan to speak.[break] [break] The girl raised her head to look at Ryan. Her face was a whirlwind of different emotions. It was bewilderment, sadness, a hint of amusement. Holly listened to the words like they were the words of a prophet. A sage who hadn't spoken in a decade, but had chosen her to finally speak again.[break] [break] The words he spoke. It took a moment to actually register them. The shock of speaking was quickly overshadowed by the actual contents. He...he didn't wanted Holly to cry? It seemed odd to hear Ryan say it.[break] [break] Because Holly had never hear Ryan speak...she didn't knew for certain that he would have cared that much for her. She knew that he was like...in love with her for how she looked. He had drawn her many times. That was love not? At least not attraction. Attraction was nice. Being felt desired by someone was nice. Getting compliments about how you look was nice. Holly had never hear Ryan say that he loved her. She had read that he finds her pretty. It was one of the first things she had read from him. It were words that were engraved in her brain. Ryan finds you pretty. The person who has drawn you who knows how many times finds you the prettiest girl in Remnant. That is love, in a way. Love about how you look. Holly didn't have any other love her in Haven, so it had to do. Be pretty for Ryan. Making money with the Gardenin' Club so that you have the money so that you can look good for Ryan. Holly could love Ryan from her heart, Ryan could leave Holly with his eyes and his hands and his desires. It was enough. Love for love, even if it wasn't the same kind.[break] [break] Still, those words. That expression. That emotion.[break] [break] He...he does care about what is inside of Holly? He does care about how she felt? Was this...was this just a ploy to make Holly shut up quicker? The pink girl dashed the thought out of her mind. No...Ryan wouldn't do that. Ryan does care! He cares enough for Holly to speak to her! To cry for her! To not run away from her. Holly's mixed expression was still on her face for a few moment, but it was quickly replaced with more tears and sadness. While she could dash away the rumors that Ryan was only doing this to get rid of Holly, those earlier feelings of guilt were still present in full force. Ryan never talked. Ever, for as far as Holly knew. You made him talk. You forced him to talk! Her mind went into overdrive. Ryan talked now. He could talk again. He could talk to other people. His oath was worthless now. Holly made it worthless.[break] [break] HOW DARE YOU MAKE RYAN BREAK HIS OATH! [break] [break] HE SHOULDN'T BE FORCED TO ABANDON IT FOR YOU![break] [break] ALL THAT DEDICATION AND HE RUINED IT ON YOU![break] [break] HE IS ONLY DOING IT BECAUSE YOU ARE A SAD EXCUSE FOR A GIRLFRIEND![break] [break] Holly was confused as to why Ryan decided to abandon his self-proclaimed oath, and if it was a good thing or not. Holly had only known silent Ryan. Only known the boy and his book. She knew that it was important to him. Was it not wrong to take something important away from someone? Something of who they were? Holly hated that part of Ryan, but it was still something Ryan chose to do. She forced Ryan to change...and that just felt wrong in the girl's mind. She wanted the best for Ryan, and to just feel a little bit of that goodness come back to her. What if talking Ryan didn't need Holly? What if talking Ryan could find someone who was better for him? Someone who didn't bombarded him with emotions. Someone who didn't make him break oaths sworn?![break] [break] What would Holly have left, if she didn't have Ryan?[break] [break] All of the doubt, confusion, and sadness was only amplified now. The girl was now full on sobbing, placing her hands on her face to hide Ryan from the emotion that he did not deserve. Through her sobbing the girl only managed to get out a few mutterings. After some time weeping, she managed to get something of a coherent sentence out. "I am...sorry Ryan...for making you...do that for me..." [break] [break]

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[attr="class","RDwortag"] Words: 1218, Thread Total: 3915	[attr="class","RDwortag"] Aura: 100%
[attr="class","RDnotes"] Semblance: E, Slicer: F, Survival: F, Gardening: F, Martial Arts: F, Healing: F, Acrobatics: F.

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[Deleted]

'No matter what you do, it always comes down to this, uh? You make people suffer. You disappoint people. Your entire lineage has been wasted on you. Your brother was wasted on you. Your friends, family, this girl who seems to hold a special place in your broken heart. You don't deserve anyone of them, not now, not ever. You're nothing but a fucking waste of a human being.'

And yet again. That damn voice was damn right. Ryan had watched the storm of emotions that passed through the girl's face on contemplative silence as his mind dealt with his problems at the moment. But nothing, absolutely nothing, could prepare him for the moment Holly simply broke down sobbing, nor to the immense pang of pain that assaulted his heart at the sight. And the words... why... why did she take the blame?

Why did she?! It had been his selfish thoughts and ideas the ones that set him to create that dammed oath. And it had been the same ideas and thoughts those that made him break it. No matter how much the situation may have forced his hand, in the end, it had been himself the one that broke the oath for her. She hadn't forced him herself, she had always been respectful of his oath.

She... she had always been there since they met. No matter how much Ryan had tried to silently push her away. She had always been there, supporting her as a friend by just being there with a friendly face.

He had to make things right.

Slowly standing up with wobbly legs, Ryan walked up to her until his legs finally gave up in front of her. Falling to his knees, Ryan, ever so slowly and gently, grabbed both of her wrists and moved her hands away from her sobbing face. It was the same eyes he had admired before. It was the same cute little face he had drawn uncountable times before.

And yet, it all seemed so foreign and plain wrong right now. And Ryan knew why. Even though his eyes saw the effects that he had on her, it was like his soul itself could feel the distress that he had caused to this girl. The girl that had always been there for him as a friend, even though he treated her so badly. Even though he had never shown her anything that even remotely resembled the amount of friendship she had given him. Even though deep down he knew he did care about her as a person, he did care about Holly Hock, and not only the girl he found pretty.

As gently as his calloused hands allowed him, he cleaned one after another the tears that left the girl's eyes with the back of his fingers, not minding his tears that keep freely flowing down his face and towards the girl's lap. If Holly did nothing, silent minutes would slowly pass by until she stopped crying. And once she did, Ryan would drop his hands and speak out once his head dropped out, finally breaking eye contact, of the combined emotional and physical tiredeness.

"Don't apologize..." he would talk out just loud enough for only the both of them to hear. "I don't care about this dammed oath anymore... It made me... make you suffer... I... I guess... I..." he chuckled softly before letting out a short cough. All of this time of silence seemingly doesn't do wonders for your throat, it seems. "I don't even... remember why i took it up to begin with... i just know... i just know that... that it was for a pretty selfish reason," Taking off his glasses, Ryan cleaned his eyes with the back of his hand before looking back up the girl at the eyes.

"But it seems... that is was more selfish of me to try to keep it around the people i care about... Please... Please forgive me, Holly..." A coughing fit assaulted his dry throat. After it calmed down, he took a deep breath and kept talking, though he didn't know for how long he would be able to keep it up. "I guess... that as long as its only the two of us... i can talk..." A ghost of a smile flashed on his lips. "I'm still... not used to talking to people, after all," with a final coughing fit, he turned silent while waiting for her answer. His throat had finally reached its limit point.

No matter what happened afterwards, he just hoped that she would be able to forgive him. He... he didn't even wanted to think of what would be of him if she didn't.

---

WC: 782/2,479

[Holly Hock]

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[attr="class","RDcontainer"] [attr="class","RDcontent"] For quite a while after speaking her words, Holly considered just walking away. Running away. While it was more Ryan’s move, if she could spare him her emotion, she would have left the room. Ryan’s oath was important to him, way more important than that she was. Wasn’t it? Oaths are more important than girlfriends who you haven’t even told that you love them. So, when Holly heard over her sobbing that Ryan was standing up, she expected him at first to just walk away. Being mad that she had forced him to speak. Speak to tell her not to cry. Speak to make her shut up and ruin his otherwise perfectly good day by walking into the forge. Ruin his day by meeting in the cafeteria. Ruin his time here at Haven.[break] [break] The deepest darkest voice in her mind told her that it would have been better if they would just have never met. Holly would have been miserable. She was sure about that. Knowing that someone cared deeply, even superficially about how she looked, was something that Holly needed. Required. Without that her days would have been harder. Not unbearable. She wouldn’t kill herself over it. She would have soldiered on. Kept on with going to classes, kept on with the Gardenin Club, kept on trying to become a huntress. It was what she wanted to do for her family. For her island. She would keep on training in strange lands, making promises to protect humanity, or to become a shield for Mistral. She would have done it all. Without joy, but she would have done it. [break] [break] Ryan? What had she given Ryan by meeting? She had broken the illusion of the girl he made up in his mind. The imaginary Holly who was better in his mind. A wild and pretty savage from some backward island. The girl who looked so particular that he was spellbound to draw her. She had bombarded him with interactions that almost made him flee the room! She had made him uncomfortable more times than she could count. She had taken the chance from him to meet someone who was better than her. Claimed a sweet and wonderful person for herself. Would Ryan have been happier with Nasrin? With Lily? Jackie? Niraya? Nobody will ever know. Lastly, Holly had now ruined Ryan’s oath. She had taken it for a spin and crashed into down a cliff. And now she was crying about it! The thought made Holly cry even more for a moment. Her breathing got even more erratic now. [break] [break] NOW YOU ARE SAD ABOUT BEING SAD! [break] [break] That was the thought process was in when Ryan fell to his knees before Holly. The moment the girl’s wrists were grabbed, Holly at first tried to keep her mess of a face hidden. She gave way fairly soon though, and her small, shaking arms did with Ryan wanted. Ryan had all right to be mad. It was the emotion Holly expected as her teary eyes looked at him, not seeing much more than shapes through the waterworks. Of course, he was mad! She made him do all that, and for what?! [break] [break] Holly could only make out the shape of Ryan’s arm coming closer to her face. Was he going to choke her? Slap her? RIP OUT HER USELESS GIRLFRIEND TONGUE WITH HIS BEUATIFUL HANDS? [break] [break] He was… [break] [break] …he was… [break] [break] …stealing her tears? [break] [break] Holly looked in shock as Ryan was thieving tear over tear that were formed by the girl’s eyes. Her breathing was shallow, and she would flinch at first when Ryan was cleaning her tears. Cleaned tear? Flinch! Cleaned Tear? Flinch! Cleaned tear? Slight flinch. Sooner the girl became accustomed to Ryan’s act, and her body accepted it without reacting so vividly to the movement. The strange foreign hand on her skin wasn’t out there to hurt? It was just stealing tears. No…it was… it was comforting. Soon the tears were mostly dried up, and Holly just looked at Ryan at this moment. Holly was tired. Exhausted and tired. Both of them. At the same time. Still, she did not dare to break eye contact with Ryan. She just kept looking at him, confused about his action and affection. Yes. His blatant affection was foreign and confusing. [break] [break] It became even more confusing when Ryan spoke. [break] [break] Holly listened to everything Ryan had to say, not even daring to interrupt the other person. Talking seemed painful to him. Pain that she caused him. She listened intently at the content of Ryan’s words. [break] [break] He was asking Holly for forgiveness? He was calling himself selfish? [break] [break] The girl tried to rationalise what she had just heard. Try to come up with a way to make Ryan feel better no matter what. Tell him that all that he was doing was her fault and that she would find a way to make sure that Ryan was happy again, what would make her happy. Holly tried to remember all those hours of videos and articles that she had read on what she needed to do. All the study she put into trying to become a good girlfriend. All of the self-help tips flashed through her brain. [break] [break] Holly’s ten top tips to ‘girlfriend’ing': [break] [break] ‘1. Give him space’ [break] [break] ‘2. Show him you care’ [break] [break] ‘3. Know when to apologize’ [break] [break] ‘4. Make time for him’ [break] [break] ‘5. Appreciate what he does’ [break] [break] ‘6. Build up trust’ [break] [break] ‘7. Be an amazing friend’ [break] [break] ‘8. Dress like a million Lien’ [break] [break] ‘9. Don’t make his day worse’ [break] [break] '10. Maintain your own life’ [break] [break] Even with all those tips and guides… Holly didn’t know what to say. Nothing that she had learned had prepared her for this. Nothing that she had heard other people say and write gave her any clear direction on what to do or how to say. Begrudingly, Holly know that she had but one real option. [break] [break] Holly’s top ONE tip mom told you to do when you do not know what to do: [break] [break] ‘1. Act from your heart.’ [break] [break] Ever so gently, Holly’s hands went towards Ryan’s face. Her tiny hands cradled the sides of his head, and Holly moved her own face closer. Just when someone would have thought that she would kiss him, the girl placed her forehead against his. Softly. Holly’s gut feeling didn’t want to kiss Ryan. With the two foreheads barely touching, she was content for now which got her breathing slightly under control. Ever so slowly she managed to calm herself in this manner. Her eyes were closed as she just focused on the moment. Her deepest core just wanted to be close to him. Have a connection in this moment. Share the sadness, share the hurt. Be as one. When she felt confident with doing as such, Holly just started to speak. Her voice sounded slightly rougher than usual. Well, al lot rougher. Crying does that to a people, even though it still sounded better than Ryan’s weeks of silence. Not knowing what to say, the girl just described her feelings and thoughts when the appeared. Running on a train of thought, Holly just took all the reins of her restraints and set het mouth loose to see where it goes. [break] [break] “I…I don’t think that you are selfish. When I wake up, the first thing I look forward to is us sharing breakfast. I like telling you about what I dreamt about, and what I am going to do today. I like how you always listen to me complain about the sausages being stale, and how the yogurt is a health hazard. I like watching your new drawings, even if they are not about me. I like how we sit next to each other in class, and how we try to get through each day together.” [break] [break] Holly waited a moment, before she continued again. Her voice was more solemn now even than before, but her voice almost had something hypnotic about it in the way it kept calm despite the content. [break] [break] “I am often sad at the end of the day. Not when people are around. I can put on a blank face for them even if I am sad. When I lie alone in bed, I sometimes cry. I miss my mother. I miss my sisters. I miss my father. I miss my home. I miss the warmth. I do not want to be here, but still I am. I am afraid that I will die here. Away from home. I am afraid that some Grimm will eat me. I am afraid that my name will come on some wall, while my parents and sisters do not even have a body to burn. We burn people where I live. Here till will just put me in the ground. They don’t even know that, I think. I am afraid that my body will rot in a cold and distant land that does not even care about who I was, other than a name on a wall. A sacrifice for people who did not truly knew me, cared about me, or loved me. An inspiration for the next girl to die the same pointless death.” [break] [break] Holly exhaled, not having much strength in her at this moment. Her throat felt horrible. She didn’t want to speak. She wanted to lie down and just sleep for the next 20 hours. Still, she wanted to get her whole message across. Holly's grip on Ryan was now partly to make sure she could stand up right. [break] [break] “Being near you…it doesn’t take away all that. I am still sad at times. I am still afraid of dying. Being around you isn’t the cure for all of my awful thoughts, even if I something think you are. You are one of the few people I know who will cry here if I am dead. You are one of the few people who spends time with me outside of class or if they do not need something from me. You could have stopped having breakfast together, or sit next to me in class, or showed me what you had drawn that day.” [break] [break] Her legs started to shake. Speaking your heart out after all that emotion was taken its toll on Holly. She felt weak. Her breathing became quiet now. Just at the moment that one might think that she was done talking, or had even fallen asleep, the girl’s eyes started to slightly become wet again, as if a hidden tear duct had been discovered just now to allow Holly to mess up her face just another time. Small tears rolled down her cheeks. Holly did not mind. These were tears of happiness. They were not bad, or needed to be stolen. She tried to keep her eyes close, and their foreheads together as she continued for the last time. [break] [break] “But even though you could have done all those things, you did not. You chose to spend time with me, you chose to make my day better even if you did not know it, and you just chose to speak to me. I wanted you to know that your choices make my days better. Not your name, not your past, not your brother, not your oath. No matter what might happen to us…I want you to know that you have made my life better, and it was solely done by you, for who you are. Thank you.” [break] [break] And that was all Holly could say before her legs gave way, and she collapsed to the floor. A small psychogenic blackout that would not have taken longer than a few minutes at most before she would wake up again. A moment for her brain to process everything in some peace and quiet. She was all right though. [break] [break] There was a slight smile on face, for she was happy to have said what she said. [break] [break] Happy to have spoken from her heart. [break] [break]

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[attr="class","RDwortag"] Words: 1978, Thread Total: 5893	[attr="class","RDwortag"] Aura: 90%
[attr="class","RDnotes"] Semblance: E, Slicer: F, Survival: F, Gardening: F, Martial Arts: F, Healing: F, Acrobatics: F.

[attr="class","trinCredits"]TABLE BY TRINITY @ ADOXOGRAPHY

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[Deleted]

Saying that Ryan's mind was overwhelmed at the sudden barrage of words and raw, sheer emotion sent his way would be putting it mildly. Before the girl could hit the ground, Ryan's reflexes had quickly kicked in and made him shot forward to grab her. After doing so, he softly placed her on the couch in which she had been sitting moments prior.

Once the initial moment of panic passed away after realizing she had just fallen asleep, not wanting to mind the unexpected action to give his mind a little rest, Ryan wondered what to do now. And it was while thinking that, that his eyes slowly settled into Holly's face. With a sigh, Ryan slowly moved one of his hands towards her face and softly caressed one of her cheeks as his forehead started to miss the feeling of hers against it. Taking a handkerchief from one of his pants' pockets, he slowly started to clean the mess in which her face had turned into, and while doing so, his mind started to muse about everything that had transpired into the forge's resting room.

In all honesty... he had never expected that he would end up having that much of an impact into the girl's life. -Nor anyone for that matter- He never thought he had done much besides simply being there, but it seemed that for this girl that had been more than enough to brighten her life, even if just a little. With a soft smile playing on his lips, Ryan moved away a couple of stray hairs that had stuck on her face and simply looked at her.

It seemed that at the end... coming to Haven haven't been a mistake after all. Meeting this girl... How else could have met her besides coming to Haven? How else could have he gotten the friendship, the companionship that this girl had given him? No. There was simply no other way. Coming had been the right call after all. Then, Ryan shook his head as regret filled his hearth... She had only wanted the same in return from him, she only wanted his friendship, and yet he had treated her that way... What had been the reasoning, the justification for him to be like that? To mistreat her like that?

There was none.

Slowly inching towards her face, Ryan planted a small peck on her forehead before simply looking at her smile with another soft smile of his own. What Mistral had ever done for him besides slowly killing his family? Had Mistral ever given to him any of what this girl had? It had not. And so, with resolve in both his heart and mind, he spoke.

"From now on..." He said softly to not wake her up. "I'll protect your smile... no matter what..." Fully standing up, Ryan fixed his shirt and put on his tie, leaving the upper part of his suit behind to cover the girl so she wouldn't get cold. Grabbing both of his notebooks, Ryan silently left the forgery. The smile never faltering from his face.

---

WC: 521/3000

[Wolfe]

XP Distribution

Ryan: 30

30 + 30 = 60

Holly: 59

196 + 59 = 255