[Nasrin Golbahar]

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Nasrin Golbahar

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Nasrin followed Heidi back to her own dorm room, where they had been spending a relatively happy and enjoyable evening together before Kishka had decided to fuck it all up, as usual. Nasrin had to unlock the door so she wasn’t in any rush to walk right behind Heidi, and making a little bit of distance between the two of them gave her some more time to think, an added bonus. [Break]
Nasrin had been around couples that fought before. Hell, she’d seen couples where physical violence was a constant feature. They were never a good sight, and they always left one person sitting on a lower rung of power in a relationship that ought to be equal. One person would always be the one getting hit, getting ignored when they made requests, getting insulted. And eventually those people got so used to it that they figured it was normal, they started to assume that they deserved what they got even though they didn’t. It was an awful thing to see happen, and now here Nasrin was, right in the middle of it happening to her in the span of a few minutes. Heidi had never acted this way before. She had been willing to listen to Nasrin during the fight with Sol, resistant to it sure, but willing at least to hear the voice of reason before she took things too far. Not tonight though. [Break] [Break]

Not only had Heidi nearly hit her with a blow that likely could have shattered Nasrin’s aura and sent her flying across the school the same as Kishka had, but she had also deigned to start insulting people for quirks of birth that they had no control over. Calling Aegle a cripple was likely just an attempt to get under her skin, and while it didn’t seem to actually work on the red class leader, it did work on upsetting Kishka far more than Nasrin ever could have predicted. But regardless of the purpose, calling people out for being cripples - insulting things they had thrust upon them rather than things they could actively control or choose to lessen, that got on Narsin’s nerves. And she was a cripple too. Should Heidi ever get upset, Nasrin was now more sure than she had been that Heidi would view her as little more than a speed bump in the way of whatever it was she wanted to do that day. [Break] [Break]

Eventually, Nasrin arrived at the door and unlocked it so the two of them could enter. She shut the door behind Heidi, locking it again and going to sit herself cross-legged on the bed amongst the small collection of beer cans they had already gotten through before the fight started. She swept them all onto the floor after a moment or two, expanding the ever-present clutter in the punkettes dorm room. It wasn’t clean by any stretch of the imagination. Clothes were scattered about, as were tools to fix Rascal and a million other things adding clutter to the floor and desks in the room. It was how she liked it. Clean rooms meant someone thought they were too good for the world, as far as Nasrin was concerned. [Break] [Break]

She didn’t wait for Heidi to sit down, rather she just gave it a few minutes and then started talking at the taller woman regardless of where she had decided to stand or sit. She spoke normally, for the most part, though with a good deal of weight to her words. This was an important chat, and something that would decide a lot about their future together. [Break]
”Thanks for helping me with Kishka, didn’t have to do that and it was real fucking satisfying to see you pound her into the concrete. Sucks that your helping kinda got tainted by the other shit that happened, yeah?” She tried to make eye contact with Heidi as she spoke, if the taller woman even decided to bother looking Nasrin’s way. [Break] [Break]

”For starters you almost fucking hit me. I was /trying/ to make sure you didn’t get yourself fucking expelled like you did before, at Atlas, yeah? I like you! I want you to stick around cause you’re pretty damn great. I was trying to help. And your instant response, before even thinking about jack or shit was to raise your fist and almost flatten me against the wall like you did to the damn cloudhead. I aint about being in an abusive fucking relationship. If you can’t keep control when I disagree with you then this won’t work, yeah? I oughta feel safe around the person I’m sleeping with, not worried they’ll snap cause I disagree on their choice of beer and punch me through the floor.” [Break]
Nasrin took a breath then, a deep breath. That was the major thing, the big issue that she was most concerned about and she hoped that for once in her life she had actually gotten her point across properly. [Break] [Break]

”Second, would prefer you don’t go around insulting folk for being cripples, yeah? I’m not about that bullshit. Even before I was one that bothered me. S’not like anyone asks to be a cripple, shit happens to them and it’s usually cause they couldn’t afford super good fucking cloudhead healthcare cause the damn system is fucked all the way to the core. Insult people for shit they can control. Everything about Kishka was worth insulting, that shit is /all/ her. But insulting Aegle for being a cripple? Not good, Heidi. She ain't anyone we care to hurt, she’s not a fucking rich kid so high on their own ego that they think they can fight you and win, not like Kishka.”

Aura: 100% [break][break]

Semblance E, Rascal Light F, Agility F, Durability D, Melee Accuracy E, Speed F, Graffiti F, Mechanics F [break][break]

Word Count: 947/947 [break][break]

[attr="class","aofCredit"]SELKIE

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[Jackie Bariole]

Even without all Nasrin had said before they returned to the punkette's room, Heidi knew she was in for a conversation she wasn't likely to enjoy. Damage control wasn't something she was especially well suited to, when she could even be bothered to do it, and it was no small annoyance that Nasrin, of all people, should be unnecessarily complicating her life. Heidi might not have put up with it at all, except for the fact that she was pretty sure she could smooth over any rough patches between the two of them with minimal effort. And, if she couldn't, it was better to find out now before she invested any more energy in the pink haired woman. Nasrin had been a lot of fun, and it would be a pity to lose the stability she offered, but not such a pity as to make hanging onto her worth dealing with the added nuisance. Stretching, hands tucked behind her head, Heidi only half listened to the first few words out of Nasrin's mouth. Heidi met Nasrin's decision, to front load all her praise, with ambivalence. On the one hand, that Nasrin would even mention the service Heidi had done her was a positive sign that the trivialities between them could be expunged. On the other, it denied Heidi the chance to fire those very points back at Nasrin when she actually got around to saying what had her braids in a tangle. That made what was already sure to be an annoying conversation that much more irritating, because it meant Heidi couldn't, quite rightly, bludgeon her way over Nasrin's grievances by simply pointing out what an objective, net-positive she was in the Punkette's life. No, this conversation was actually going to require some effort on Heidi's part. Effort, so far as she was concerned, which would have been better spent celebrating Heidi's victory and Kishka's humiliation. Heidi made an effort to control her expression and not show what she really thought of Nasrin's complaints. That they were an unjust, unwarranted inconvenience for her could not be denied, but she would gain nothing by letting Nasrin know what was how she felt. Instead, she struck a middle point between concerned and hurt as she turned to regard the smaller woman, just as though she hadn't been angry enough to punch Nasrin a few minutes prior, and that suggesting otherwise wasn't just inexplicable, but really quite upsetting. She opened her mouth to interrupt, brow knitting together, and let Nasrin bowl her over with her next complaint, affecting wounded confusion to excuse the lack of her usually quick tongue. She didn't need to try very hard to play injured and confused for the second of Nasrin's issues though, not when it was clear that the punkette had taken the whole exchange the wrong way. Brow furrowed, Heidi shut her mouth, which she had let hang open while Nasrin 'lead' the course of the conversation, and made a show of tightening her jaw. She worked her teeth back and forth, flexed her fingers, looked at Nasrin searchingly and, seeming to see something she didn't like there, showed her teeth and looked away. Walking across the room, she grabbed a unopened bottle of beer from the floor, and examined it closely for a few moments. Really, what she did was watch Nasrin's distorted reflection in glass, looking for any sign that her performance as having the intended effect. She was contrite and confused and a bit stunned by the accusations leveled her way, but, most of all, she was hurt by them. Hurt that Nasrin had thought so little of her to assume she would lash out senselessly, over something as trivial as their taste in beer. Hurt that Nasrin trusted her so little that she thought, even in the heat of the moment, that Heidi would have hurt her. Yes, that was good. She looked uncertain, and even a bit remorseful, and maybe even a bit ashamed. Not of herself, but ashamed that Nasrin could think so little of her. After a few moments studying the bottle, Heidi put her shoulder between her face and Nasrin. She kept her hands slowly turning the bottle over in her fingers while, at the same time, she blinked again and again, as hard as she could. "Well, fair enough. I was angry and I wasn't thinking when I said those things. I just saw a chance to hurt Kishka and I took it." She kept her voice level, with the slightest tension in it. She closed her eyes as hard as she could, and the world started to grow blurry between blinks. "I just did what I had to, to get her to stand up for Kishka. I didn't think about how she might feel about it. How you might feel..." Heidi swallowed, drew a deep breath, and popped the top of the bottle with her thumb. "And I'm sorry for that. Sometimes I say things I don't mean when I'm angry. It won't happen again." Squeezing her eyes shut, she put the bottle to her lips and drained the whole thing in a couple of short pulls. Then, turning, letting the carbonation spill down her throat and up her nose, Heidi opened eyes glossy with wet and turned them upon Nasrin. She'd been trying to find the perfect balance between apologetic and betrayed, and thought she did a pretty good job of it. The bottle fell from her fingers and she cross the room in a stride and almost, but didn't quite, take Nasrin in her arms, stopping at the penultimate moment before pulling away. She fluttered her eyelids, keeping her eyes wet, and tightened her jaw again, and curled her fingers into fists. Tension ran the entire length of her body, in a primal display of barely contained power, and then she turned away from Nasrin again. "I almost hit you?" She hissed out suddenly, through gritted teeth, before repeating, more quietly but with greater emphasis, "I almost hit you?" She let the tension bleed out again. With her back still turned to Nasrin and her hands hanging at her sides, Heidi shook her slightly bowed head. She was silent for several moments, counting the seconds till Nasrin tried to break the silence, before continuing on her own. "That's what you thought?" Heidi turned and looked at the smaller woman, like she couldn't believe what she'd just said. Like she'd just accused Nasrin of some awful crime she didn't want to believe was true. "You," She said, then again with emphasis, "You thought I was going to hit you?" She raised her hands plaintively as she asked it and then, seeming to recognize how something in the gesture could be taken for a threat, quickly lowered them back to her sides. It was Heidi's experience that there was no surer means to winning an argument with someone who cared about her than appearing vulnerable. She was so seldom vulnerable, and those who knew her were often unbalanced by the experience. This was the tricky part. She needed to be angry at Nasrin, to show her just how unfair, how unjust, her accusation was. But she needed to control that anger, try to hide it, so that Nasrin would not feel threatened. Because Heidi cared about Nasrin, and did not want her to feel unsafe. Lastly, she needed to be uncertain of what to do. She needed to be distraught. Someone she trusted and whom she thought trusted her had just thought the worst thing imaginable about her, and now here they were having a fight about it. She needed to be uncertain of how to proceed. Lost. Not sure whether she should deny it or walk right out, or stay and endure whatever else Nasrin meant to hurt her with. Yes, and now it was starting to really sink in. The implications of what Nasrin believed had happened were starting to form in Heidi's mind. She was getting even angrier, even more upset, but trying to keep it under control. She grit her teeth and fluttered her watering eyes and looked about the room, without really being sure what she was looking for. Nasrin had thought Heidi was going to hit her. Heidi, who had done nothing but defend Nasrin since the day they had first met. Who had been her most stalwart ally, her lover, and her friend. Nasrin, who she had been in the midst of fighting for at that very moment which had birthed this unjust slander against her character. Nasrin, had thought Heidi was going to hit her. It should hurt, learning something like that. Something so unfair and untrue. and it had to be untrue. Their relationship couldn't survive if it wasn't. Finally getting a hold of herself, anger tightening her features, Heidi locked eyes with Nasrin. Her gaze was accusing, but not meaning to be. "I would never." She said, voice barely managing to keep level, trying for reassuring but coming out harsh and tight. Then, as a sudden spasm of anger flexed its way through her, she growled more quietly, more insistently, "Never." Then, seeming to realize what she had just done, Heidi's anger flashed away to worry and regret. She took a step back, beyond even the reach of her long arms, putting nearly as much distance between them as was possible in the small dorm room. Her mouth opened, closed. She was realizing how angry she was, and working hard to bring that anger under control. Trying not to shout, she over compensated and, with deliberate quietness, asked "How could you even think that?"

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Words - 1,581
Total - 1,581

[Nasrin Golbahar]

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Nasrin Golbahar

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As Nasrin spoke, she watched Heidi’s face quite closely. Unlike Jackie, Heidi was extremely expressive and didn’t tend to look away from Nasrin every time something uncomfortable happened, which was a very helpful trait when discussing something like this. It let Nasrin see how Heidi felt about things, and it was clear she was upset. The question though was what exactly she was upset about. She could be upset that she had hurt Nasrin, that’s what she wanted to believe was the case, it’s what a person ought to feel when told that they scared the person they were dating. But there was also a possibility that she just felt bad for being called out on it. It wouldn’t be the first time her reaction to Nasrin’s criticism had been anger or dismissal rather than accepting it and using it to get better. [Break] [Break]

Through the bottle, Heidi would have seen Nasrin look down at the floor for pretty much the entire time. This sucked just as much for her as it did for Heidi, and staring at her girlfriend's back wouldn’t help anything. So she looked down and thought through the silence, hoping that when Heidi turned around she would apologize and everything would go back to normal and they’d be happy again. And when Heidi walked to the other side of the room and eventually turned around to show teary eyes that got Nasrin to believe - whether it was true or not - that Heidi actually felt bad about what she had done. [Break]
She apologized when she turned around. For half of what had happened anyways, but small victories were still victories. Nasrin smiled and nodded at Heidi when she promised that it wouldn’t happen again, she accepted that as truth for now, though she wasn’t really sure if she was doing so because she genuinely believed Heidi or because she just needed this to work. She needed them to keep being a couple because she needed this type of relationship or she just felt alone and empty and awful. Jackie was great, but she left a gap that Heidi was able to fill and Nasrin doubted there would be anyone else in the hellhole called Haven that would be willing to give her a shot. [Break] [Break]

Of course then Jackie got to responding to the other part of Nasrin’s concerns, and the reaction somehow made Nasrin feel bad for accusing Heidi of doing something that she so obviously had intended to do - even if it was only for a moment. That truth kept her from outright apologizing to Heidi on the spot for even daring to accuse her of something like that, and she had been about to say as much given that Heidi had been quiet for so long before the taller woman abruptly began speaking again. [Break] [Break]

Nasrin did almost flinch when she saw Heidi bring her hands up again, something that she really wasn’t proud of and was extremely thankful to have stopped before it became outwardly obvious, especially given that Heidi immediately seemed to realize such a thing might happen and lowered her hands to prevent it. [Break] [Break]

Nasrin let Heidi finish speaking, let her proclaim how she would never do such a thing or even think about it and how, while not in so many words, she was offended that Nasrin had even thought such a thing would cross Heidi’s mind, that it was Nasrin who was in the wrong in bringing this up despite everything. [Break]
She walked over to the corner of the room, near the window where the mattress that she had was pushed up against the wall. She kicked it a few times before sitting down with a huff and crossing her legs. Her arm went up to hold her stump, a nervous tick that she didn’t even think about now, and certainly something Heidi would recognize. [Break] [Break]

Nasrin looked up from the floor again a second or two later, trying to make eye contact with Heidi and really sort out the truth from the act as she spoke. ”How could I think that? Maybe because for a second there you raised your fist at me. I’ve never seen you do that shit before, not to me or anyone else that you didn’t intend to punch right after, yeah? If you really didn’t mean to, if you hadn’t even thought about it in a moment of rage at my daring to interrupt your hurting of Kishka,” Nasrin was obviously upset, it came across in her voice as a tightness of speech and a more sarcastic tone whether she was trying to be sarcastic or not. It had hurt her that for the second time Nasrin trying to stop Heidi from doing something that would get her arrested or expelled had been met with anger and annoyance rather than any attempt to acknowledge it.”Then I apologize for accusing you of it. In the moment, to me, it looked and felt like that’s what you were going to do. You were angry, things were kind of crazy, and just like in the alley with Sol I was trying to stop you from doing what you love. Sure I was doing it to try and help, but I was in the way, right?” [Break] [Break]

Nasrin leaned back against the wall, pushing a pillow behind her back and then going right back to clutching her stump and staring up at Heidi. ”If it wasn’t something you thought about, then please, promise me right now that you will never do it. That you will never raise your fist at me again unless we’re sparring. And if you want to make me really happy then promise that you’ll try and listen to my advice next time I try to help you, yeah? Don’t expect you to go for that one, I think I know you well enough by now to figure that out, but it’s an option.” She took a deep breath and looked back down at the floor. [Break]
”I want this to work. I want us to work. I like you a fuckton, and I really want to keep sleeping with you. I’d hope you feel the same about me enough to at least give me this. If you never intended to hurt me then it shouldn’t be a problem, and then we can put this shit behind us and get back to drinking and shit, right?”

Aura: 100% [break][break]

Semblance E, Rascal Light F, Agility F, Durability D, Melee Accuracy E, Speed F, Graffiti F, Mechanics F [break][break]

Word Count: 1067/2014 [break][break]

[attr="class","aofCredit"]SELKIE

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[Jackie Bariole]

It was fortunate that Heidi had super human reserves of self control, or else she might have let her irritation show at Nasrin's less than contrite reaction. Could Nasrin not see she was near to tears? Had she not heard the outrage and hurt in Heidi's voice? Was she really so self-centered, so heartless, as to not only deny Heidi the apology she rightly deserved, but to demand a promise from the Atlesian as well? She presumed to make demands, when it was obvious to anyone who mattered that she was in the wrong? A knot of anger was tying itself tighter in the Atlesian's chest, and she turned her back to Nasrin before it could rise up onto her face. She was right to be angry, and anger and outrage were the expected reactions, but she shouldn't get too angry, lest she prove Nasrin's terrible accusations correct. Even if Nasrin would have deserved it, for just how inconsiderate she was being, Heidi decided to keep her cool. She had been rather angry, after all, and there was really no telling what she might do when she was angry. Considering for a moment, Heidi wondered if she really was going to hit Nasrin. She had wanted to, certainly, and rightly so given the punkette's weak willed betrayal right when Heidi had most needed her support. She hadn't though, and that surely must be all the indication required to show she was never going to hit Nasrin. After all, Heidi did what she wanted, no matter the cost, no matter the resistance. If she had wanted to hit Nasrin, there would not have been any doubt in either of their minds on the subject. She would have hit Nasrin. She would have hit her hard. She would have cast her aside like the backstabbing, fair weather friend she'd shown herself to be. Instead, Heidi had chose mercy and compassion. She'd allowed Nasrin's betrayal to slide with little more than a harsh word and a hard look. Now that Heidi considered it, she was the victim here, not Nasrin, and the fact that she was being forced to behave otherwise was yet more injustice heaped upon her undeserving shoulders. After all she'd done for Nasrin, all the time and attention she'd given the Punkette, not to mention standing beside her to defend her against Kishka's words... Thinking about it brought the outrage, and anger, and the pain of betrayal back to her in a hearbeat. Whatever Nasrin thought she'd been doing, whatever she claimed... That she had been trying to stop Heidi from going too far. Like she hadn't trusted Heidi to know what she was doing, let alone follow it through. 'Nasrin doesn't trust me.' Heidi heard. The voice was so close that it seemed to come from within her own head. She tightened both hands into stone breaking fists, growing tense all over, as the source of the voice dawned on her, right along side the words it had said. Heidi realized something then, as she fought to keep from putting both hands through the nearest wall. Something she hadn't wanted to realize, had been trying to avoid thinking about lest she was forced to look directly upon it. With Jackie's intrusion however, she couldn't help but stare right at it. Stare, until her eyes started to water. It had hurt. It had hurt, when Nasrin hadn't had her back. It had hurt because, in that moment, it had shown Heidi how wrong she was. She'd thought things could be different this time, that Nasrin could help make things different. Funny, how she never seemed to learn, how she never stopped hoping. But things weren't different this time, and probably never had been. The moment Society yanked the reins, even Nasrin, with all her lack of respect for authority, had turned to comply. One moment, she'd been an Ally, someone Heidi would waste time and effort getting into a fight for. The next, she'd been one of the rabble, one of the spineless mass, a cog in the great machine made to keep the exceptional and excellent in chains. She'd shown her true colors then. She'd shown them to Heidi. The Atlesian's shoulders slumped, as she was once again terribly conscious of who and what she was. A giant, surrounded by insect. A stone woman amidst a world of glass. Even Nasrin, who'd seemed so close to understanding the world and seeing it for what it really was, had been as yoked and blindered as all the rest. Even Nasrin was unwilling to take the steps necessary to topple the paper kings and porcelain queens off their flimsy foil thrones. She felt incredibly alone, in that moment. "I promise." She said, fingers unfurling. She ran a hand back through her hair, and fought down the anger and the resentment, not letting either be heard as she carefully controlled her tone. She tried not to think about how angry she was. Angry and disappointed, not just in Nasrin, but in herself. Disappointed for believing, once again, that there could be anyone like her. "I promise." Heidi repeated, turning around. She lifted her shoulders up and raised her chin, a titan once more. "I'll do both, you have my word." Words which were ashes in her mouth, lies she knew she had to tell, because it was what was necessary to keep this charade going. Because it was expected of her. Because Nasrin could no longer be trusted. Because she never should have trusted Nasrin to begin with. Because nobody could be trusted. Because they were all a part of it, even those who, like Nasrin, thought they were fighting against it. Heidi forced a sad smile, and walked towards Nasrin. Slowly, she sank down to one knee before the punkette, and cupped Nasrin's one hand in both of hers. Her golden eyes glittered as she peered, forlorn, into the punkette's sideways face, watching those beautiful blue eyes which had held so much promise the night they'd first met. "I'll do whatever you want." she said softly, lifting one hand to gently touch the smaller woman's face. The hurt was still there, hard and cold and aching beneath her skin, but the warmth of another person soothed it some. It reminded Heidi that, even if none of these tiny, fragile people could be relied on, they still had their uses. Even if that use was only to take her mind off of things for a little while. ""I'll never hurt you, Nasrin." Heidi whispered earnestly, no longer caring if it were true, ""I'll be whatever you need me to be..." Her thumb moved softly over the smaller woman's cheek, caressing it with the utmost gentle care. "You believe me," She drew closer, and there was something of her sister in her yearning gild gaze, something anxious and on edge, expecting rejection. ""Right?"

---

Words - 1,169
Total - 2,750

[Nasrin Golbahar]

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Nasrin Golbahar

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Nasrin kept focused on the floor as she let Heidi figure out how to respond. She didn't like conversations like this and her request had been something that she assumed Heidi would react negatively to. But maybe that was for the best. If she couldn't do this one request then it may be good for both of them to split, as much as the idea hurt Nasrin to think about. She could see out of the corner of her eye that Heidi was still facing away from her. She must be pissed, it was all Nasrin could think. Heidi was going to be angry and she was either going to storm out or come over and hit Nasrin now. [Break]
But none of that happened. Heidi stood in place for what felt like hours before she turned around and headed back over to Nasrin. She didn't look up, her eyes remained glued to the floor and her hand remained clutched around her stump. She didn't flinch when Heidi kneeled down in front of her, nor did she resist when Heidi took Nasrin's hand in hers. [Break][break]

She finally looked up, eyes flitting over Heidi's face as she tried to read what the woman was thinking. The contact was comforting, to the point that Nasrin felt herself relax slightly as Heidi brushed at her face with one hand. She was promising to do what Nasrin had asked. She was saying that she wouldn't raise a fist to her again, and promising to listen. When Nasrin tried to help. It was like a weight was pulled off of the punkettes shoulders and she immediately sat up a bit straighter, her smile returning at the edges of her mouth as she looked up at Heidi. The golden woman seemed serious. She seemed like she meant everything that she was saying. And Nasrin still trusted her enough to take her word for it. Of course she believed her, for good or for ill. [Break][break]

”Course I believe you. I just wanted you to say it out loud. Needed to be sure and all that, yeah? But I trust you. I've got no doubts that you'll keep your word on this and that is more than good enough for me, alright?” Nasrin squeezed the hand holding hers and gave a slight tug to try and get Heidi to sit down.[break]
”We can go back to normal now, yeah? That's all sorted and we beat the shit out of Kishka which felt fucking great. And now we're all made up and nice again. I don't wanna make you feel bad , that wasn't the goal here if that wasn't clear. I just… I worry about these things. Seen couples that worked great together fail because one of them got a bit aggressive one too many times and they never talked about it till it was too late. I want this to work. I want us to do well together. I think we can do that, right?” [break][Break]

Nasrin was smiling now, eyes bright with optimism about how good the two of them would be together now that this was sorted. She wanted to cuddle with Heidi now, wanted her to sit down on the bed and let Nasrin settle into the crook of her arm. And the light pull from their clasped hands would hopefully get it across to Heidi.

Aura: 100% [break][break]

Semblance D, Rascal Light F, Agility E, Durability C, Melee Accuracy E, Speed F, Graffiti F, Mechanics F[break][break]

Word Count: 559/2573 [break][break]

[attr="class","aofCredit"]SELKIE

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[Jackie Bariole]

Seeing the trust in Nasrin's eyes, hearing her words, and believing each one, Heidi felt a twinge of something unidentifiable deep within herself. It was so alien that she almost took it for one of her little sister's restless intrusions, but it was not wholly like unto the character of Jackie's thoughts. Staring into those trusting blue eyes, eyes placated by Heidi's disingenuous promises, the Atlesian wondered what it meant. She found satisfaction that her lies were believed, that she had successfully won the exchange and maintained the facade she must now wear, but it felt more underwhelming than usual. Muted. Numb. "Of course we can." Heidi answered, without really hearing the question, as she moved closer to Nasrin. Bringing their faces near one another, till their noses touched, she continued stroking her fingers lightly through the smaller woman's hair. That warmth, that certainty of closeness and the power it implied, brought her some minute comfort, but it felt just as empty as her satisfaction. She could feel, in Nasrin, the want for the contact which Heidi was providing. It should have pleased her, to know Nasrin wanted her close. It made her feel angry instead. Angry and, once more, betrayed by the pink haired woman. Heidi wasn't even sure why it made her angry, and the absence of any reason, even an irrational one, made her wonder whether it was her emotion at all, and not just the same as that unidentifiable tightness in her chest. Knowing Nasrin wanted to be held and comforted, Heidi let herself be guided onto the bed. However, rather than sitting beside Nasrin, as she intuited was the pinkette's desire, Heidi slipped her hand down Nasrin's cheek and around her neck, where it lingered momentarily, before continuing around to clasp the nape of her neck. One knee on the bed, half straddling the smaller woman's lap, Heidi guided her up for a kiss. A deep kiss. Deeper than usual, with Heidi's hand holding Nasrin fast in place. She was hoping the gesture might ignite some dormant passion inside of her, and thereby extinguish the hollowness already smoldering within. It did, in a way. She enjoyed such physical acts, had never been shy with them, and, as inappropriate to this somber moment as it might have been, the intimacy of the gesture could also be taken for a reaffirmation. Yet, for all the physical gratification of seizing and controlling Nasrin's mouth with her own, the luster was gone from that pleasure too. Once satisfied, or at least satisfied that kissing Nasrin would bring her no further satisfaction, Heidi did what the smaller woman had wanted. She settled down beside her on the mattress, and drew them both into a delicate embrace, with Heidi's arms folded around Nasrin's weak and fragile body, with one hand still supporting the back of her head. She pressed her face into Nasrin's hair, drew in the pinkette's familiar scent with a deep, almost willful breath, and gave the small, feeble woman a careful squeeze. None of it helped. The tightness in her chest was worse now than it had been before, and that hollow, numb, disaffection had spread throughout her body. She was so incredibly dissatisfied, in a way which went beyond her mere disappointment in Nasrin, and all that might have been, and now surely would not. Heidi wanted to squeeze. To crush, as though she might break Nasrin down and rebuild her into something worthy of her respect and love. But, incredible as she was, she knew there was no fixing what was wrong with Nasrin, just as there was no fixing what was wrong with the rest of the herd of Humanity. It had been so at Atlas, just as it was now at Haven. She was alone. She would always be alone. The only answer was to take what was offered. To use them, before they used her. Heidi's hold around Nasrin did tighten, and her face pressed more firmly into the tangle of her lover's pink hair. "Do you want to know the earliest memory I have?" She asked quietly, after several moments of silence. Her voice, though muffled in Nasrin's hair, held a strange strain to it, not unlike the yearning note it had contained when she'd asked Nasrin for her trust a few minutes prior. Without waiting for an answer, because Nasrin would definitely want to know, and because Nasrin's consent was unnecessary. "I was on the floor, in a place I didn't recognize, with the taste of blood in my mouth." Heidi nuzzled closer, arms tensing around Nasrin, but not squeezing any tighter. Even now, she only wanted to hold Nasrin, not hurt her. "There were times before that, but they were like..." Her broad shoulders shifted, in a shrug that their present position would not fully realize, "Like a dream, I suppose. Like I was there, but couldn't do anything to change what happened. Then though, in pain on my hands and knees, I had control." She smiled to recall it, the liberating awareness of her surroundings, the simple pleasure of being able to stand and move on her own accord. "There was three of them standing over me, taunting and mocking me with words I knew but couldn't recall learning. I knew, despite not knowing their names, that they were the ones that had hurt me, the reason I was on my knees." Heidi's muscles loosened slightly. Confusing and upsetting as the past twenty minutes had been, it comforted her to remember her first time. "I don't think they expected me to stand up. And, when I did..." Her fingers began combing through Nasrin's hair again, almost absently. "There was four the second time. Two I didn't know and two who I did. Two from the first time I had control. I knew they weren't going to stop. That, if I didn't stop them, those two would be there for my third, and my fourth, and my fifth..." Heidi fell silent, her hand coming to a stop mid stroke. She drew in a deep breath, considering. Then, she quietly said, "Jackie got in trouble, a lot of trouble, for what I did to those two." The parallels between that instance, and their fight with Kishka, and what Heidi had wanted to do to Kishka, were inescapable. Perhaps that was why she'd shared it. "Jackie was angry at me, but I protected her. I protected us both. I did what she was unwilling, unable, to do. And they never tried to hurt us again. None of them did."

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Words - 1,102
Total - 3,852

[Nasrin Golbahar]

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Nasrin Golbahar

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Nasrin melted into the kiss, just as Heidi probably wanted. She hadn’t been expecting it to happen right now, all she had wanted originally was to cuddle, but this was more than acceptable as far as Nasrin was concerned. It meant, to her, that things were alright. That she hadn’t fucked everything up by standing up to Heidi or asking her to change her ways slightly. It meant they were together again, happy and ready to take on the world the same as they had been after the first evening in the forest. [Break]
She wrapped her arm around Heidi, stroking her hand up and down along the much stronger woman's spine as the kiss went on. Her eyes eventually shut as she really got into it, enjoying every second of the affection she was receiving and giving. Heidi had even agreed that they could go back to normal. It was perfect. Everything had worked out and Nasrin was back to being her rather happy self. [Break] [Break]

As the kiss ended, Nasrin gave Heidi an extremely satisfied and hopeful smile before the two of them re-arranged into the cuddle that Nasrin had wanted originally. The punkette would have been perfectly content to simply sit in this cuddle for the next few hours, until one of them fell asleep or until one of them decided they wanted to take things a little bit farther for the evening. Before Heidi started talking again, Nasrin stayed quiet as she slowly ran her hand along the extremely strong arms that were wrapped around her. She knew Heidi liked that, it was something she had learned pretty quickly as being something Heidi was into. Plus it made her feel safe. She still trusted Heidi, and being held by those strong arms gave her a feeling of security that she had almost never had in her life. It was nice. [Break] [Break]

She listened to Heidi as she told the tale of her first memory. What must have been the first time Jackie’s semblance had ever truly activated and unleashed Heidi upon the world. It was sad that the cause was Jackie being abused and bullied by assholes. Perhaps that was why Heidi was so fast to go to aggression and violence to the extreme in order to resolve her problems. It had worked that first time, the first time she could even remember existing, so why wouldn’t it work every other time? [Break]
Nasrin wasn’t a psychologist, it wasn’t her place to try and figure out why Heidi was the way she was. It was her place to love all of those oddities and try to mold them into something that could be positive for everyone. Heidi, Jackie, Nasrin, and anyone the three of them ended up helping in their lives as huntsmen once they completed school. Nasrin firmly believed that after today, after Heidi gave in and was willing to accept Nasrin’s help and advice, that they would really be able to move forward and make Heidi into someone Nasrin could spend much of her life with. Maybe not always in a dating capacity, though Nasrin DID really want that, but also in a friendship or teammate role. Fixing the bullshit of the world one step at a time. One day they’d fix the power difference, but that was a long time away. Not something to be thought of right now. [Break] [Break]

Nasrin gave Heidi’s bicep a squeeze as she finished the story, then she tilted her head back to give the taller woman a kiss under the chin. ”That’s a really fucking shitty first memory… At least you kicked their asses, yeah? They deserved that and then some… You were trying to do that for me with Kishka then, right? That’s why you’re tellin’ me this?” It seemed like that was the most sensible reason for Heidi to have told the story. She wasn’t usually a woman for sentiment or just indulging people’s pasts, so there had to be a reason behind telling Nasrin the story. [Break]
”Makes me feel a bit shittier for getting in the way in that case. I did think you were just kinda in it for the fun of kicking someone's ass. That you could help me was a bonus. But if that wasn’t the case, well… I dunno. I’m sorry again for messing it up. I shoulda just let you take control and do what you had to do to Kishka to make her leave me the fuck alone for the rest of her time here. I just.. I can’t stand the thought of you getting kicked out of Haven, alright? You’re all I have here right now, people wise. Makes me sound kinda pathetic, but the vast fucking majority of the idiots at the school are not exactly the kind of people that I want to hang out with on a regular basis. You are. And if you were gone, then I’d be fucking alone with Kishka and assholes like Colton and self rightous suicidal idiots like Aegle. I don’t want that. I want you to stick around at least till we both graduate.” [Break] [Break]

Nasrin once again hoped that she had gotten her point across in a way that didn’t sound stupid or pathetic or whiny. She just wanted Heidi to know how she felt. There was a small part of her that was worried Heidi would think it was so pathetic that she’d just leave right now, but after what Heidi had just agreed to do in order to make Nasrin happy made that seem like such a small, minute chance that it wasn’t worth worrying about anymore. [Break] [Break]

No, instead Nasrin fell silent again and went back to stroking Heidi’s arms and relaxing in the cuddle. It was nice, a good way to end an evening, even if the topic of conversation was getting kinda shitty.

Aura: 100% [break][break]

Semblance D, Rascal Light F, Agility E, Durability C, Melee Accuracy E, Speed F, Graffiti F, Mechanics F[break][break]

Word Count: 974/3547 [break][break]

[attr="class","aofCredit"]SELKIE

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[Jackie Bariole]

"There's nothing wrong with enjoying it." Heidi said flatly. She'd heard that complaint about her enough times to know the ignorance from which it came and, futile as she knew the effort to be, she trotted out her usual defense. "If they can enjoy hurting us, why shouldn't we enjoy hurting them in return?" This tacitly acknowledged that part of her motivation had been the simple joy of a fight, and not an insignificant part at that. Heidi wasn't ashamed to admit it either. She liked fighting and she was good at it, so why shouldn't she avail herself of whatever opportunity to fight came her way? That had been her primary motivation, of course, in the same reason eating a favourite food's primary motivation was liking the taste. That didn't make it her sole motivation and, were Nasrin someone she still intended to waste her efforts on, she might have tried to correct that misconception. Nasrin's further assertion did cause a bit of pause, though perhaps not for the reasons that the punkette might have hoped for or expected. The suggestion that Heidi was 'all' Nasrin had at Haven caused a brief stirring within the Atlesian. A disconnected sense of regret and hurt, followed swiftly by resignation. Those three emotions, so thoroughly discontinuous with Heidi's own train of thought, forced a momentary pause upon her, that they might be more closely regarded. Even as she turned her attention upon them, however, they were already sliding back down beneath the surface, till they were once again submerged by Heidi's own thoughts. She knew the cause, and that cause irritated her. She didn't care how Jackie felt to hear such a thing, and certainly didn't care enough to permit her little sister's intrusion. Furthermore, of course Nasrin felt that way; How could Jackie believe she didn't? How could Jackie believe that Nasrin's regard for her was anything more than tolerance? How could Jackie believe Nasrin would put up with her, were she not inextricably connected to Heidi? And, surely, Nasrin's opinions weren't worth worrying about. Had she not so recently decided as much? So why was there a lingering ache where Jackie's feelings had been? Heidi set out to drown those feelings, pouring all her force of will down over top them until they too were submerged by her inexorable consciousness. After a few moments, when Heidi was sure the invasive thoughts were fully subsided, she began combing her fingers through Nasrin's hair once again. This couldn't continue. If Nasrin was going to make her feel this way, if she was going to undermine Heidi's control over her own body and mind, then it didn't matter how much Heidi enjoyed being close to her. Taking a moment to appreciate the warmth of the smaller woman pressed against her, Heidi decided she would limit her time spent around Nasrin. Not to the exclusion of all contact with the punkette, for Heidi still had desires which Nasrin was best for satisfying, at least not until Heidi had found someone else suitable for seeing to those needs. This had to stop though, this threat upon her control and resolve, and spending less time around Nasrin was the obvious solution. Nodding to herself, Heidi pressed a kiss to Nasrin's forehead, even as she determined a need for her replacement.

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Words - 554
Total - 4,406

[Wolfe]

XP Distribution:

Jackie: 44

171 + 44 = 215

Nasrin: 35

147 + 35 = 182