Post by Bianca Sabbato on Oct 13, 2021 18:36:15 GMT -5
-Ow- I complained when Chloro deservedly slapped the back of my head for being so dumb.
I understood her words and where she was coming from. It was only that sometimes I didn’t think I could tell good from evil besides the painfully clear cases. Even less did I knew if I could tell if what the Council said and did was the right thing for the most part. And I didn’t believe I was comfortable being a pawn, although I didn’t really have much choice in the matter.
And that still stung, even after these years.
Honestly, I didn’t know what was wrong with me sometimes. I had a far better life than I could have possibly achieved before. I had people who cared for me, a stable income, my mental had improved somehow, and I had a decent societal position...
Yet everything felt so... So artificial. There was a general sense of wrongness to it that I couldn’t shake off. It was the feeling of disconnection between those things and myself that bothered me most of all.
I still looked for a deeper meaning to things where there was no need. I simply couldn’t accept that maybe it didn’t matter the reason for doing things as long as I was doing something good... But still, her words served to remind me of something.
If this was a war of some kind. I could rest well believing in my general and my partners. Maybe I couldn’t tell a good action from a pile of pancakes, but I could rely on their direction when I was insecure about things.
-Makes sense, more or less... I’ll... I will trust in Kishka’s judgment. And in yours- I replied, feeling a bit more reassured in that as we moved on to the next topic.
Simply put. Watching Chloro’s face go all red and flustered because of my silly joke was all that was right in the world.
I didn’t resist her jab of retribution. I was enjoying myself way too much to let it bother me. If anything, it added to the experience. Rubbing clean a tear of delight forming on my eyes, I answered by merely sticking my tongue at her when she flipped me the bird.
I thought everything would end in that, but then a strange silence stretched in the air. With a more demure expression, I turned towards Chloro to see her looking at the floor with something clearly stuck in her mind.
Then she said something that took me a bit by surprise. I knew she didn’t get into relationships besides that deal with Misha many years ago, but... I kinda expected her to at least have some experience in intimacy. I remembered once she asked Berwyn and me for advice with a girl, so I kinda assumed it hadn’t been the only time.
Whatever the case. It was no reason to be embarrassed. So now it was Chloro’s turn to carry the idiot ball, it seemed.
-Hey! Don’t beat yourself about that! Nothing wrong with not having much experience...- Putting a hand on Chloro’s shoulder, I shook her a bit to try and get her out of that shitty mindset. Scoffing at it.
As if an engineer/thief/huntress needed to give herself shit just because she hadn’t got laid yet. She was too damn smart for that bullshit.
She then mentioned the food again. And I absentmindedly approved of her plan. But my mind was still wandering back to her previous reaction -Ye ye. I pay for the food. Don’t worry- I called out as I aimlessly wandered the room, all the while a strange idea started subtly creeping on my mind.
-Humm... You know...- I began saying, hands behind my back as I approached the vehicle, patiently watching as Chloro put the bike down from the air.
Thas insecurity was unbecoming of her. Chloro was a good-looking girl in my eyes. She was a fun person to be with and a good friend as well... Which brought an interesting question to the table, one that I, for once, could answer pretty clearly.
...I mean, why not? I wasn’t against it. Quite the contrary if was being honest.
-I’m just saying... If you haven’t, let’s say, kissed before... Do you wanna try it?- I asked tentatively and a little nervous as I sat sideways on the motorcycle. Openly smiling as I made the proposition to good old Chloro. Trying not to sound mocking or condescending in my words. I was being honest, after all.
Maybe that’d help ease her into things. Slowly brush away her nervousness around the topic. Heck, if she was worried about finding herself lacking in such regards, then I sure didn’t mind clueing her in on how things were.
-Wouldn’t mind helping you practice a little if you are curious. I’m sure you wouldn’t be near as shit as you think- Crossing one leg over the other. I tried to play it casually as I waited to see how the chameleon girl reacted. If she was grossed out by the idea, I could always buy dessert as an apology.
Just testing the waters there. Or throwing a big rock at them, most likely.
869 / 7671 Words