Post by Bianca Sabbato on Aug 17, 2020 22:49:12 GMT -5
I listened with respectful attention to the words she used to describe her girlfriend. Disregarding momentarily her other commentaries as I felt they were not so important in the grand scheme of things compared to this topic.
There was something in the way she described her. As a guiding light, as the thing keeping her from descending into the darkness underfoot... It made me frown, and utter an almost imperceptible curse, not at the woman herself, of course, but at the whole situation.
Losing someone important to you, someone on whom you depend. Very few experiences could compare to the harrowing realization of having an integral part of your life suddenly stripped away from you. Most likely to never come back. And having yourself and the whole world telling you that now you are going to have to carry on by yourself as if nothing ever happened.
Pretty much like expecting someone who had just lost a leg to keep running and winning the marathon... And yeah, I knew I was the biggest hypocrite of the world in quoting Raul there...
But that was life, and even though you know nothing is going to ever be the same, you just have to put up with it and keep going... Fuck if I know about that. It must be one of the shittiest feelings ever. And now. This woman in front of me was traversing something similar, with such shitty luck that the only one near her to offer any help was such a fucked up person like me.
Ironic, how someone who never recovered from something like that was just about to try and give encouragement to someone about how to leave it behind... But then, something unexpected happened.
She started singing. And I was left enthralled by the whole situation. The singing was not the best in the world. But it was heartfelt. With an undertone of sincerity and sentiment impossible to fake or emulate.
And then she started crying, and I. As it was expected, started panicking. I instinctively went by her side. Pathetically rubbing her back and trying to draw her closer to me, so I could start patting her head. Running my fingers through her hair in a bizarre attempt at comforting her.
It was something I used to do when the rest of the gang was... Ejem... Busy. Doing business with her mother. And the little girl was left in my care until the guys were done. She sometimes would cry because the noises frightened her, or for whatever reason as any small child does. And I would be left with her sitting on my lap while Y whispered words of encouragement and safety in her ears. Trying to keep her as distracted as I could from what was happening just a couple rooms away and to provide as little comfort as I could.
Not sure why I thought it would work in a fully grown woman... But, hey! I had to try something!
An idea formed in my mind. Not the greatest nor the brightest. But I was sure trying something different beat staying there doing nothing the whole day! I would need no more than a couple minutes... That song she sang... I don’t know it. But the general tone of it gives me a pretty good idea about how it should be accompanied.
-Wait for me here, I won't take long, no more than a couple minutes- I said. Taking my hand from her head and walking toward the door. -Just need to pick up something- And with that. I departed. Practically running through the dorms to reach my room as fast as I could.
Reaching my dormitories. I breathed a sigh of relief at noticing Berwyn’s absence in the room. She was probably out there doing something else. Good. I didn’t want to have to spend time explaining what I was entering the room at full throttle just to take down a single implement and leave at roughly the same speed and disposition as a rhino trampling through an empty field.
Returning to where Jade still stood, tears still not fully evaporated of her eyes. I took a moment to catch my breath and take one of my most prized objects out of its protective case.
It was cheesy. It was overly dramatic and maybe even a bit stupid. But right now, I didn’t mind looking like an idiot if that would make someone else feel better.
With a serious expression that never verged on antipathy. I leveled the instrument towards my chin, delicately grabbing onto the bow and loosening my muscles, reading myself for the arduous task of producing a suitable piece to accompany Jade’s song with my violin.
Clearing my throat. I directed a serene gaze towards the dragon faunus. Speaking in a low, amicable voice. -I’m not that good at singing, but if you want. I want to play a little to its tune. If you don’t mind me asking this of you...-
Looking at her straight in the eye. I made a petition that could have been seen as a little unfair. But in my heart of hearts. I know I did it in a genuine attempt to comfort her if even just a tiny bit.
-I want you to sing that song again. Only this time, I don’t want to hear you cry at the end, because you are going to do everything on your hands to bring that girl back home... So I want this to be a hopeful piece, not a sad one-
Because when you lose someone, sometimes hope is the only thing left to keep you standing. Especially when the disappearance had been so sudden, and recent as this one seemed to be.
Hope... Can be a crutch, limiting your movements and ultimately preventing you from reaching your full potential if overused... But sometimes we need those until we find the strength to stand up by ourselves.
If not for finding your loved one, at least hope in yourself.
-And for the very next time, maybe you two can sing it together?- I asked with a stupid expression on my face. Like a smile that threatened to come trough but was harshly and suddenly stopped by the gravity of the situation.
And of course, I didn’t know this Dandelion girl, now how good or bad she sings. But somehow, it felt like hearing two lovers sing a special song together could be sweetest than the most complex, most beautiful of duets. Even if they ended up singing it like crap... After all, the melody being a little shaky doesn’t mean the harmony cannot be beyond perfect...
So even though I knew there was a possibility for this girl to no longer remain among the living. I decided to hold on to hope, at least for a bit. And use that hope as a motivating force both for her and for myself.
And if our hope were to lead us astray. Then she would have acquired the strength of knowing she did everything she could to transform it into a reality.
That is the call of the huntress. One of the many in this profession. And one of the most elusive, and most precious of calls you can follow.
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