Post by Bianca Sabbato on May 3, 2020 20:49:51 GMT -5
Now I was really pissed... After saying that about me... After denying my worth as a person, calling me nothing more than a mere animal. She had the guts to act all high and mighty, like I was exaggerating, and she was in the right.
-Whatever reason you have to hate me...- I started to say without even knowing how to end the sentence. Certainly, if she didn’t hate me because of my bloodline then all options left were even bleaker. Either there was a legitimate reason for me to be hated by a girl I barely knew at all ... Or she was just a bitch, in which case I truly didn’t want to keep arguing with her. Only a couple minutes seemed to be enough to drain me of all of my energy.
Curious, maybe she used so much love and energy to make her plants grow that she needed to steal it from other people to sustain herself. In more senses than one.
I just wanted to help... I just wanted to give back a little so why won’t anyone give me a fucking chance!? What was to be found so despicable in me as to guarantee all that treatment and still fell yourself on the right.
It was a good thing that I decided to walk off the music club. Any minute longer and I’d probably just slap her so hard her teeth would fall off.
I was greeted by the cool air of the twilight hour once I abandoned the main building and made my way to a more open space. The quad, a place which this far into the day was completely deserted... Perfect.
Walking into the patio, my naked feet kissed the land as my senses naturally took me to an isolated part of the enclosure, a corner with nothing but a solitary tree and a small bench that whose paint was already starting to chip off from the use.
I always had been drawn to earth and nature, it was in some ways like a 6th sense. My semblance, as other people liked to call it, and I for the life of me couldn’t understand how some people alienated themselves so much from theirs. Acting as they were like a switch to turn off and on in a whim, nothing more than a sometimes useful tool that meant nothing more than a vague advantage on a battle or in everyday life.
Reaching the bench, I sit down and silently enjoyed the connection. The communion with the life bearing soil under my feet.
I waited for at least an hour, until the night finally fell and I could be sure no one would be visiting the quad so late. I also waited, for someone to come and notice me, to come and keep me company even if only to talk about stupid bullshit and enjoy the fresh air and lovely weather in Haven academy.
But as no one came, and the nasty feelings and toughs inside me kept building up and up. I decided to do something I hadn’t done in a lot of time... Years, to be honest.
Crossing one leg over the other, I intertwined my fingers over my lap and closed my eyes. And calmly, I let my semblance say everything I had no words to express.
I let my her loose, wild, unhinged. Moved more by instinct than any real conscious reasoning on my part... Let it be shaped in any way it may. Let it be what it really was and how it really felt.
..
...
When I managed to find enough courage within myself, I opened my eyes and watched carefully for what I had made... And immediately, I found myself surrounded on all sides. Accompanied by a congregation of silhouettes standing all around me like mindless drones.
They stood motionless and, as I came to realize, completely under my whim and command like an array of castle servants bent over before their master and readily at her service. Amused, I watched as I made a couple of them bow down and bent in a demonstration of loyalty and fidelity to myself. They would trust me, they would never betray me, they would not leave me alone and never come back.
Even trough my wonder and amazement I could feel my aura burning as I contemplated the disfigured, revolting dolls of soil that stood before me as pale imitation of a human being. Rattling and clicking with the inner turmoil of the tempest of dirt trapped just beneath the surface.
Faceless. Nameless. Knowing neither of love nor mercy. Blindly at my side and aimlessly following the will of a higher power like an executioner’s sword.
...Truly, a semblance of my soul...
Thinking about touching one of then. I raised a hand only to find it had become blackened and rough, every centimeter of my skin covered with a slick coat of mud and dirt. Surprised, I reached with my tongue for the outside world and found resistance and the coarse flavor of dirt half a centimeter outside my lips. I raised a hand to my face only find neither my mouth nor my nose were visible behind my shell. Probably the air was being filtered from the earth surrounding my face, but it wasn’t as if I cared either way. Right now probably only my eyes were visible at all.
Focusing my gaze I saw the shape of my fingers and toes grow and sharpen into crude uneven claws of rock.
Feeling a telekinetic weigh behind my shoulder blades, I turned my head to find two elongated and thin clusters of stone-like protrusions levitating just a couple centimeters behind my body and rashly sticking out at either side of my frame.
-Hey. Holly... You didn’t like the tail, you didn’t like my words. But do you want to see something really Hideous?- I could barely recognize my voice, muffled and distorted by the layers of sod covering my face. Maybe it wasn’t even my voice at all, maybe just the insane rattling of the earth mimicking it the best it could.
Yes... It was distorted, like the barely congruent shapes and forms eclipsed by the winds of a terrible canyon of static inside a broken TV screen.
Feeling vexed by my own toughs and the remembrance of not only Holly’s stupid words, but every other time I had been treated like less than a person, that I had felt like less than a person; I reached for and exploded the silhouettes one after the other, violently destroying and recomposing them at the same rate in their vaguely humanoid forms, creating an incessant rain of dirt and soil and not stopping until everything around me was painted black, with only myself at the center of it all.
And it felt great, amazing even.
“I'm... I’m starting to remember now, the things I left behind in those lonely days of yore... But now I feel... Grounded, I’m in control... Because I’m taking this off on a deserted plaza instead of a living person or something truly beloved, because I plunged myself and still could pull out of the pool of darkness”.
Even behind all of that grime and dirt, maybe the ghost of a smile managed to grace my face as a wave of serenity washed all over me, like receiving a great dose of some thought medicine injected directly into my brain. It was cathartic, a great weight lifter off my shoulders.
Once I was done, my aura was obviously completely gone, and without a way to reliably wash of the dirt from my body, I uncrossed my legs, stood up and begrudgingly started the arduous task of slowly peeling of the layers of soil from myself as I made my way to the showers.
-Huh... I’m a really fucked up one, ain’t I?- I said to myself with as much emotion and care as the earth that covered me, as I wondered if someone had been close enough to spectate at that little show of mine.
Dammit... I should help clean all this mess tomorrow. It will be a hassle tough. Wish my semblance were more useful in moments like these.
Indeed, for if I tried to build something with it, it crumbled down as soon as my attention went somewhere else. Seems that only the things I destroy stay that way... Probably there was something poetic to be fund in there, but I was no fucking poet, so I had to take it at face value.
-Ok, first things first, go get a shower, go to your room, get a change of clothes. Sounds like a plan? Sounds like a plan- Here's to hoping thing would be better after that. Once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up right?
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